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torsdag 12 mars 2015

Goddess Wolves

I have six sites under my Red Heart category and this one is the fifth, but it used to be the last until I recently changed the order of the sites and moved this one up. It's double level symbolism with the wolf theme, as it's both about real live wolves that live in nature, and the kind you find walking among men pretending to be human, while in reality being predators out to harm others. The reason I thought about that is due to bullies that's been tormenting me my whole life, as I'm a sensitive and also a loner. Predators love to attack people they believe are easy targets, vulnerable and an easy kill, so they love to attack me and have been doing that my whole life. I can't even remember how many times really nasty females been lying about me to ruin my social life, but every time it happened it came out of the blue, like an attack by a predator, without me having a clue what was going on behind my back. Much fewer times the attacker been a male, one of the kinds that are out for revenge of some kind. You find this site here: Goddess Wolves. So the reason I made this site about wolves was cause of the stalking and lies that a man was doing to me.

I don't really know why males attack me, but I have by now figured out the reason females do what they do so very often. To me it seems like the males are furious that I stand up for myself and don't play along with their using of me as their tool or whatever they intended. At the moment it's people who know all about old bullying I've been through and they seem to be using these old methods to screw with me. It's like they've been pretending my whole life they were family, but all they did was to find out all my weaknesses so they could seriously fuck me over with every thing that others done to me previously. So now a brother of mine behaves like the man who inspired me to make this site. That is stalking my sites and reading my private thoughts. He was the only one who could explain why that man was so cruel and now he's equally cruel, if not even worse, I may say. I truly feel he's worse, as the other man stopped stalking me after about half a year, and this torment has soon been going on two years. And this time it's been escalating as time goes by instead of receding.
There has been a constant stream of lies and hurtful messages that are very insulting and the further we come in trying to find a solution that would be as beneficial for all as possible, the more vile and nasty he's been acting. And all his hate is directed at me, despite me being the person least listened to by the lawyer doing the actual work. The lawyer have heard so much foul things about me, that I bet he thought I was a two headed monster by the time he met me, so of course anything I said to him went straight through his head. He refused to see me until October, 6 months after he'd met my sister and he didn't even talk to me until 2 months after he'd had a long proper meeting with my sister. So why did this brother think I had any power over the lawyer? He was totally smithen by my sister and thought I deserved much less then this wonderful woman, and so he told me. Did I write her any hate mails due to that? Of course I didn't as I'm not a sick bastard like some people obviously are. I was deeply insulted by the lawyer, who straight out told me and the oldest brother that we were less connected to our father then our spoiled siblings. Which was extremely rude and an awful thing to say to someone.

So to me it's very clear that our brother is upset as I feel like both me and his older brother are equals to him and our other sister. The way he treats us and their plans to make us get alot less money then them shows us clearly how he feels about our value. He's been using us and in his mind we have no rights at all. That is the only reason I can come up with that he's so hateful towards me, as I've not been in contact with him in any way, beside dealings with the lawyer. The insult is that we let him get his way in alot of matters, but that didn't help at all. He does not appreciate anything we do and his only goal seems to be to humiliate as much as possible. I have a feeling he will try and bully everyone supporting me, trying to isolate me so he can torment me undisturbed. Men like this can be quite lethal and there are women who's very scared of him. Would he try anything on me however I will be prepared and I would not let him harm me in any way, nore my children. I truly believe he's a very sick person, as I've done nothing to him and it's like he's making shit up just to be able to hate me. Either that or someone is filling his head with hate and lies and he is too brainwashed to be able to see what these defamers are doing.
This site is also about native people as they have been treated very badly by bullies, who made others hate them and almost kill all of them in horrible, cruel ways. When I was small I was always on the side of the native americans, and this brother was always one of the white cowboys. That says alot, as the white's murdered 95% of the natives. I married a native nordic boy, who shares the same DNA as the native americans, so I called him my own indian boy. I feel great solidarity to all native people of this earth and the things I've heard from people of native blood is hair rising. How horrible and cruel people can be who think they are more then others. In reality it's those bullies that are less then others and they should feel ashamed over how cruel they are to the undeserving. It's quite clear to all of us now that my bullies know perfectly well, all of them, that I've been telling the truth all this time. They've been taunting me with more lies about me, just to torment me, while all of them fully well knew I spoke the truth. That was why nothing I did could make them understand I was truthful, not even that I had a witness confirming my version of events.

The one who started to lie about me seems to have been planning this a very long time, as she spoke to me about it more then 20 years ago, how someone was to fight her over her right to get a house for nothing. Now I know she must had planned this person to be me, as she was doing all sorts of hurtful things, starting from when I started dating boys. She gave away a huge collection of doll dresses I've worked on for 9 years, most likely cause I told her she only could borrow it, as it was intended to my own daughter one day. Seven years later she changes her first name to a name I'd had suggested to give to my own daughter, but I had a miscarriage and lost that baby. When my daughter was born she shortly after had made father "give her a house" out of the blue. Or so she claimed. But after father's death she revealed that this was not quite what had happened, and I got an explaination to all the weird statements father had made through the years. He'd said stuff like that house was not hers until he died, which was what their agreement was, that she'd have to pay for the house what it was worth after father had died. It was no gift, like she had lied about for so long. She was not to have a house and the rest of us would not.
So to make sure that noone would be able to go against her claim to get the house she'd tried to make father sign a will back in 1996, which he'd refused to do. That will was made in three copies and all was found recently in fathers house. The will said not she'd get if for free, like her mother has claimed for 20 years, but it was suggested 110 K, and father had by hand changed the price to 210 K. This is all things that has been revealed during these years that's gone by since I read the agreement myself and saw that it was no will and that it said no fixed amount which the house would be valued at. It said what I've said it said all the time, and they all know that I'm telling the truth, but like the bullies they are they love to torment me. She showed it to me as she knew mother and the rest would help her harass me and show no mercy as she needed a scapegoat to take the fall for being all she is - that is greedy, false, calculating, a thief and of course a cruel liar. She knew her husband would do anything she said to him to do towards me and he was very helpful. He phoned my husband and called me cheap, for not wanting to pay 40 K for something worth less then 10 K. I only could agree to pay 25 K, which was the amount they'd told me it was worth when I was talked into taking over it.

At the same time his own wife is going on and on about peanuts and when I am willing to give her 46 K more for her share, then it's worth, she's bitching about 1,7 K for something she bought without my consent to the farm. In my opinion she can take that shit and stuff it where the sun does not shine, as I don't care for her bickering about small amounts. So according to her bully of a husband I'm cheap when I refuse to OVER PAY 30 K for something, and only over pay 15 K, while his bitch is not cheap when she bitches about ten times smaller sums. She also misunderstood our offer and now she's bitching over 4 K, when the offer was 46 K more, not 50 K more, which she seems to believe. All cause our lawyer forgot ONE WORD in his text - "about". He wrote that we were willing to pay them 850 K including alot of stuff on the farm, instead of the 804 K that the estate agent had suggested. And then he said that the stuff most likely was not worth those extra 200 K, but forgot to write those extra about 200 K. He should had written 184 K or something more accurate, but he didn't and unintelligent as my sister is she did not understand.
She's almost as dumb as her enabling brother actually, who does not understand anything of our offer and instead he tries to underbid us with 200 K, while offering his darling sister more then 200 K more for her part. And he also believes that me and the oldest brother will not get any part in the value of those 184 K the stuff could be worth. Taking up our suggestion that they'd evaluate the stuff, like I've told the lawyer already in June he should do when I sent him all the photos of it, that does not enter any of these people's minds. Neither the lawyer or these two other liars seems to be able to understand that it would be a good idea. Most likely they will cause us alot of trouble to save fathers life work, and I guess that is the reason their mother is putting down so much effort in enraging her gullible son, so she can make sure to ruin this for us. I totally blame her as she acted like the main enabler of this insane idea our sister and brother had to fool us to force us to give them these houses. If they'd been kind and honest everything has been settled by now, but instead they favored lies and deception and harassing me on the brink of destruction. 

The original turmoil started with the lies that I had never been shown her agreement, and when I refused to shut up, but instead found a witness who could confirm that was true, the truly hurtful insults began. She knew very well what would cause maximum damage to me, as she knows exactly how I feel about things, as I told her everything when I believed she was my friend. It's all too obvious after all the investigations I've made these years that these kind of persons truly watch you and befriend you to find out who you are to be able to harm you the most they can, if you go against them in any way. They even make traps you can't avoid to fall into, just to be able to torment you for fun. So I've realized now that she was never my friend, but an enemy pretending to be a friend. She was only pretending so she could gather intel about me to be able to destroy me. At her side she had her mother, who used to call me and I used to tell alot of things to. I do remember her warning me on occasions, telling me that one should not be too open and honest about things. I thought that was dumb advice as you should trust your friends. It's just that none of these people were ever my friends, but my "frenemies" out to destroy me.
They have been re-manifesting all the things I've told them about others done to me, which hurt me very much. Even my brother-in-law who pretended to be so upset over the man I mentioned above, and how he pretended to be a good friend to my husband while doing what he did. He only pretended as he said to me that it was wrong to do such a thing to a friend's wife, so why is it okey for him to do similar things to a friend's wife, or to your wife's sister? Double standards again, as he only gathered intel about me and realized with my story about the man where my weak spot lay. That I felt very uncomfortable with such events and did not handle them well, but suffered for years, so he created a similar situation with my sister, where she began already in 2005 accusing me of flirting with him, while I'd done no such thing. Just like the sick man I'd told him about. Now I've read about this kind of predators, and how they cheat on their wives, and how they play with women's feelings, messing with their heads. It's in their nature, I'd say, as I've read about them. It's like a mental illness, only it's not an illness, but more like a handicap. They are unable to care for others well being, and it's all about their own thrills.

It's energetically exactly the same thing and that's why it's so nasty, as both he and my brother knew how upset I was over how this man behaved. The brother I'm sure is taking his cues from his mother and that sister, and as I've been confiding in them for years about all sorts of things that hurt me I'm sure they know how to mess with his head so he'll attack me where it hurts the most. I know it was my sister who first spread out to people that I was mental, and then she spread out that I was bullying her and defaming her, and then that I had a smear campaign going about her. Or a hate campaign, as she likes to call it. I also have had feed back from her brother that I'm stalking her, so I guess she's made up that one too. She's very resourceful, like her mother, making up stories about others to defame them and make others think they are crazy, while it's all a story. What she does is actually what is illegal as she is lying about a person to people knowing that person. And when she does that and others help her out to spread untruthful smear about someone, myself for instance, that is also illegal. You cannot be considered having a hate campaign anonymously, like they all are making out you can. I've made tons of jokes about that issue, and I imagine that it will result in a blog soon, which I will name "Smear Anonymously" or something.
This site is really about the pain of being a victim of abuse by people you only wished to love and care for, but they would not let you do that. Instead they turned on you, defiled your good name and reputation. I cannot describe how many times ugly, jealous girls and women done that to me in this lifetime so far. I'm so happy I'm getting older and not as slender anymore, as it finally seems like alot of this envy is going away, which been projected at me ever since I can remember. I was bullied at school for years, all due to girls who lied about me and said I'd done things I've never done. Evil, envious girls who just wanted to torment me. A few of them even pretended to be my friends, and just like my sister and her real mother did, collect intel so they could use that against me and hurt me as much as they could. Their favorite method is always the same. They make out outrageous claims about stuff I'm supposed to have done, and then they go and tell others about it. Oftentimes they turn all the boys and men against me, by saying so horrible things about me that everyone starts to hate me. I still remember the deep pain in my heart all those years this took place at school.

There was this girl I thought was my friend, as I used to play with her, and she used her twin brother to physically attack me, by telling him that I'd done things that she in reality had done to him. She knew all his secrets so she told on him to the teacher, and then she framed me for doing it. Her brother was furious on me and ran as fast he could straight against me and punched his fist in my belly. God, that hurt. I'll never forget that pain and it was physical. He never said why he did it, but I'm sure it was cause of her lies. Girls are horribly cruel and nasty beings and I never liked them at all. I so wish I'd had a baby brother instead, which was what I'd wished for, as all girls were so odd and untrustworthy. If it hadn't been for his twin sister he'd never hated me, never punched my belly and neither would all his friends. They all hated me for all the things this little bitch claimed I've done. I'm sure every little dirty story she told about me was all about herself and her own doings, as they sure as hell had nothing to do with me. People are so gullible and if they cannot repent, when they see that they were wrong, they are doomed.
Those tormenting me now in my family all know that I was lied about and that I indeed read the agreement, just like I said. They know that I didn't make all those piles of paper after father died, which is all new lies my sister came up with as time went by. Just like my tormentor at school did. But she does it as she and her mother knows that I was severely bullied at my last working place and so bad that I got PTSD like symptoms for quite awhile. Like severe stress just being close to a church, thinking about priests and churches. I've talked alot about the bullying going on in that church with mother and it was alot. At the very end a new narcissistic female priest arrived and she heard my stories, as I thought she was my new friend and I told her stuff. She was very kind for awhile, but then it turned out that she'd been saying the most horrible things about me. And there I'd been thinking that I was an ugly, dirty being noone could like for months, until a supervisor revealed that she was smearing me to the church board, whom handled my employment. So much that they all thought I lacked all formal education and alot of other provably wrong assumptions. 

This supervisor had tried to talk to them, but he said that she had them all under her spell, believing the most ridiculous things about me. I left and my self confidence were in shreds. Who'd do such a thing to a friend? To a colleague? To a sister? A daughter? I cannot even imagining treating my worst enemy so false and vile, with made up lies and stories. These are the lowest of the low of beings, like maggots with feet and arms. They smear and make up stories about women they feel envy against, and they are so good at it cause they are acting like saints without wings, like charming and kind caring women. They are so good at acting so perfect that only that ought to make you suspicious. As in the middle of all this perfection some slight slip up of vile hate will slip through. I've seen it plenty of times with women like this, but used to ignore it. Now my studies in this subject has taught me that this is a sign to not take lightly. This little toxic remark about a person who's done no wrong, is the hallmark of the narcissist or sociopath. However, they might try and patch it up and pretend at once that this person indeed done them foul things. Beware of unsubstantiated claims.
Now I've been telling you alot about bullying and the wolves disguised as humans, as that is a dear subject of mine. And I've mentioned my present bullies, however I try and keep them out of my life as much as I can. I hope to be able to keep them far away from me as possible for the rest of their lives, as they have all certainly done their best to take advantage of the fact I've been seriously abused before in similar situations. This time I've been more awake to what's been going on, and I've learned alot about this ailment of evil. Everytime I accounter it I learn more and by knowing more I get stronger. It has miraculously not hurt me as much as it would had done just a few years ago, what they've done to me. It's like all before this were preparing me for the ultimate betrayal. The hardest part has been to understand that people like this don't care about truth, or that you can prove you are innocent to the charges. All they care about is to harm you as much as they can, humiliate you and destroy your soul. That's why they use aggressive men to attack me, and none of them cares neither that I'm innocent.

I know that they all know that all I did  was to tell the truth, and neither of them care. To them it's just fun to torture me, as they are wolves out for a kill. That is how bullies are, they wish to harm their victim just for fun. I've added alot of nice gifts to this post and I will tell you which I made using my own ideas and which I made with the help of tutorials. The first two are totally designed by me, using some nice graphics. The third I've made the image myself using a vector tutorial, but the frame I designed myself. Well, I added some cute wolves too. The forth is yet another design by myself, and the fifth is a vector tutorial, which I've added a frame to I had made before from a tutorial. And a wolf of course. Six, seven, eight and nine were all done totally after tutorials, and so is the one below and the tag at the bottom. The puppy wolves I've added myself however. The funny thing is that the indian tent graphic was the reason I was bullied at a PSP-course I attended, as a jealous woman there used to frame other members so the teacher tossed them out.
Shortly before I made that graphic I was told by the leader I was her top pupil and then suddenly I was tossed out for doing the wrong  background colour on a four hour graphic. There were a little more to it then that, but that was how it all started. I received a mail from the other member complaining that I'd used the wrong colour in the background, an error fixed in less then five minutes, and I was then not allowed to change it. She took upon herself to write a mail to the leader and complaining about me, telling her that I was very unsatisfied with her and the course, and out I was on my head. All for doing the wrong colour and I did ask if I could not re-make it, but the other member ignored my request and instead made it out to the leader I was bitching and angry with her. That is what bullies do, make up stories to get competition out of the way, and all bullies are malignant. All malignant people are lacking in empathy and they are most often what's called narcissists. Malignant narcissists all lie. That is the hallmark of a malignant person that they lie. They are the people of the lie and they destroy lives to get ahead.

They are wolves and they like to hunt in packs. They are very vengeful and will never forgive and forget, which is only for their abused victims and tormented targets. They themselves expects total loyalty from everyone else, but their fellow narcissists and certainly never from themselves in return to their underlings. As a caring, loving, loyal human being you will soon realize that nothing you've done for these selfish bastards has any value after the deed was done. They will not consider all you've done for them as something they ought to pay back to you, in deeds or value. To them it was an honor for you to serve them and you should be the one grateful they let you help them out, as that surely taught you something and was a blessing for you in some way. Just by being involved with them must surely been payment enough? I tell you, this kind of wolves consider any generous act you do to them, out of sheer goodness of your heart, as a gift given to you by them. That is the truth I've found out and that explains alot of all my questions through life with this family. No wonder they are so ungrateful - nothing given to them was a gift to them, but it was their gift to the others, letting them give.
Luna IngRuna - Circle of Love
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