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torsdag 1 maj 2014

The Narcissists Most Common Traits

I did some spring cleaning and felt this needed to be taken out and aired, in the fresh air. How these narcissists really are. I tell you, it's a total nightmare to have such people in your life, specially if they have it in for you. In my case I grew up in turmoil, tears, heartbroken, like always. It got better when the chosen golden brother left home, as he was totally depressing to be around. He could be kind IF I blocked out everything me from the equation and only admired him in silent admiration. That is what these people want - total devotion and absolutely no back bone to stand up for what is right and true. I couldn't do it, as I'm not a deluded lunatic, like people like this are.

They create their own illusions, and they make people believe them. Their illusions are built on lies and deception. Our whole society is infested with them, so our media, politics and many more public sources are filled with these deceptions. Fabricated reality, where heroes and foes are created to benefit the liars. So above, so below.

The more psychopathic, or sociopathic, a narcissist is, the more fake their whole world is. They will make themselves out as highly educated, while not being so. They have totally faked merits, they post and show people they wish to impress. It's hard to know if somebody's merits is fake, but if you know and they've told you why they do this, you know it's so. I'm sorry to say that I know a person who for a fact does this, and she also is very sneaky and not as obvious like the golden brother is with her narcissistic traits. She's the victim, always more ill, more everything actually, then you ever can be. She will keep quite about issues that might raise empathy towards you, and tell personal matters you told her in confidence, which will ridicule you. Which taken out of content will only be funny, while maybe horribly tragic if the listener had gotten the whole picture. This is exactly how manipulations of our whole planet is achieved. You don't have to lie about everything, just cherry pick what to tell and what to not tell, and most important - HOW you tell the story. 

Re-blogged: http://tcvclearvoice.blogspot.se/p/the-narcissists-traits.html 

What is important to remember is that the Narcissist won't display just one or two of these traits--but ALL of them, all of the time.

(My input here is that this is more like a sociopath/narcissist kind of person, as there ARE benign narcissists. All psychopaths are narcissists, but all narcissists are not psychopaths. And, there are coverts whom don't flaunt these qualities, but hides them)
Remember to remember... 

1. No Empathy.

The only person the narcissist will ever pity or feel sorry for is him/herself. The narcissist is completely detached from all other human beings. No matter what you (or anyone else) feel(s) or suffer(s), the narcissist will turn it around to focus on and feel sorry for him/herself. The narcissist may even let you know that whatever you suffer from (whether illness or calamity) is well-deserved. The narcissist will gloat and even laugh over the misfortune of others.


2. Amoral / Lack of Conscience.

If the narcissist believes he/she can get away with doing something (even if it's illegal, immoral, or will hurt someone), he/she will do it.


3. No Remorse.

Not even when the narcissist gets caught or reaps the consequences of his/her actions will he/she express any regret or remorse for wrongdoing; consequences will always be derived from someone else's mistreatment of the narcissist. The narcissist will never admit any guilt, will never reach out to make any amends, and will never apologize to anyone he/she has ever wronged or hurt. The narcissist's lack of remorse is always justified.


4. Hyper-Sensitive to Criticism.

Any criticism, no matter how helpful or constructive, no matter how slight the criticism may be, will be perceived by the narcissist as an attack. The narcissist will overreact (with rage) and will often retaliate in a very hostile and vicious manner. Remember this when he/she turns and rips you to shreds -- the narcissist is a vengeful creature.


5. Chronic Compulsive Lying.

This is what it is. The narcissist will change stories and facts to inflate his/her image of being a righteous, wonderful, self-sacrificing martyr, and will often tell flagrant lies to make other people look bad. Just remember that anything you tell a narcissist in confidence will be twisted into a lie and used against you repeatedly.

They are holier then thoe...

6. Excessively Self-Centered.

The narcissist needs to be the center of attention, the most loved, most praised, most important person in your world (and his/hers). The narcissist will try to cause fights and animosity between you and anyone else that he/she thinks you love more than the narcissist. All conversations will inevitably revolve around the narcissist. You will never be able to have a two-way conversation with the narcissist; he/she will never talk 'to' you, but will only talk 'at' you. And no matter what the topic of any conversation may begin as, it will always wind up completely focused on the narcissist's self-pity, opinions, beliefs, misery, etc.


7. Obsession with Perception of Him/Herself.

The narcissist firmly believes he/she is more insightful and more enlightened than everyone else. Despite the fact that the narcissist may be a blatantly vindictive, bitter, hateful, resentful, vengeful, bigoted person at home in his/her own domain, the narcissist will spend every waking moment painting a different 'image' of him/herself, and obsessively looking for validation by ensuring that everyone in his/her sphere of influence accepts and believes in the phony image. If the narcissist's true image is exposed, he/she will often retaliate against the 'evil antichrist' who tarnished the narcissist's perfect phony image.


8. Exploitation of Others.

The narcissist will (or try to) use and exploit anyone who comes into contact with him/her. Also, if called out on his/her exploitations of other people, the narcissist will either produce several reasons to justify his/her wrongdoings, or simply retaliate and get revenge on the person who exposes the Narcissist.


9. Chronic, Irrational Envy (Jealousy).

The narcissist is constantly miserable with his/her family and possessions, and will often express unhealthy jealousy or envy (and even resentfulness) over the families and possessions of other people.  For example, if you have a happy family life or more wealth than the narcissist, he/she will constantly wonder why you were so lucky, when he/she is more deserving. The narcissist will never conclude that you actually work hard to have a happy family and wealth, and therefore, instead of working for the same outcome, he/she will only feel jealous, resentful and cheated out of life's good things.


10. Chronic Competitiveness.

This is not normal, healthy competition, but a type of competitiveness that is often bizarre. The narcissist will constantly compare the most ridiculous of things, looking for anything he/she has (or can do) that is better than someone else. If the narcissist is unable to produce or claim an ability to do something better than you, then he/she will minimize or criticize your possession/achievement.

Others happiness makes them go blue... 


11. Bitterness / Contempt / Hatred.

Nothing the narcissist has (and no one he/she knows, including family) is ever perfect enough to satisfy him/her. He/she will constantly complain and criticize -- to the point of insult and verbal abuse. The narcissist will complain about the same exact things for years on end, but will never DO anything constructively to improve (him/herself) or change the situation.


12. Negative / Pessimistic / Cynical.

The narcissist will almost never have anything nice or good to say about anyone or anything, unless of course, he/she can take credit for something.  The narcissist will never encourage anyone in his/her sphere to win or excel at any endeavor, but will typically let them know the odds of failure instead, particularly if there is a possibility that someone else's achievements might put them in the limelight. Only the narcissist deserves to be in the limelight, and he/she will literally hope and pray for everyone else's failure.


13. Projecting of Faults and Motives.

The narcissist will always suspect or accuse everyone within his/her sphere of influence of thinking or doing the same evil things he/she thinks and does. If the narcissist has stolen from you, then you are automatically guilty of plotting to steal from the narcissist. If the narcissist has slandered you behind your back, then you are automatically guilty of saying bad things about the narcissist behind his/her back. If the narcissist hates or abuses you, he/she will insist to everyone that you are the one who hates and abuses the narcissist.


14. Backstabbing / Two-faced.

The narcissist is not your friend. Ever. He/she will only pretend to like you, then gossip and ruthlessly slander you behind your back, only to come to crawling back to your ear when he/she wants to gossip about and ruthlessly slander someone else. Remember this: The narcissist has no friends; the narcissist only keeps people that he/she can manipulate and/or exploit.


15. Tyrannical.

The narcissist is an explosive bully who will not recognize the boundaries and 'separateness' of other people within their sphere. Even simple, insignificant things such as hanging the toilet paper roll the opposite direction or disagreeing with the narcissist over how to cook a certain dish, can and will result in the calm narcissist instantly transforming into a tyrant on the warpath.

They are too full of themselves to see you... 


16. Grandiose Sense of Entitlement.

The narcissist does not believe he/she should have to work for anything, whether it be wealth, respect, admiration, praise, etc. The narcissist is entitled to receive these things simply because he/she deserves them.


17. Lives in Constant Fantasy.

The narcissist lives in a dream world where he/she is always the center of attention, has the perfect family, is extremely wealthy, is loved and respected unconditionally, etc. The narcissist will spend years counting (and spending) money he/she doesn't have, imagining how happy he/she would be if only the narcissist's family would go away and be magically replaced by the perfect movie or TV family.  The narcissist believes he/she is more beautiful and more physically/sexually appealing than what may actually be true.


18. Obsession With Appearance.

And not just his/her own (perfect) appearance, but everyone else's (imperfect) appearance, too. The narcissist will always find flaws in everything and in everyone, and will never miss an opportunity to point them out to you (and everyone else). The narcissist firmly believes he/she is better looking than everyone else, and will let you know this at every opportunity. The narcissist will fish for compliments on strange things, especially when comparing him/herself to everyone else within the narcissist's sphere.


19. Fear of Isolation.

The narcissist is unable to be alone with his/herself. Isolation is unbearable and even terrifying to the narcissist, because he/she needs to feed off the constant attention and validation of others. For the narcissist, isolation equals starvation.


20. Manipulative.

The narcissist is self-serving and will use guilt-trips, tell lies, spread gossip, fish for compliments and validation, pretend to like people, manufacture convincing (but fake) emotions, and generally use anyone and everyone within the narcissist's sphere to achieve his/her own agenda (which is often, at its core, a very confusing, convoluted, and illogical agenda). The narcissist will trick you into believing he/she cares for you, only to malign you later on when it suits him/her.

They are like vipers, ready to attack whenever... 


21. Is Never Wrong.

The narcissist is always right.  About everything. You cannot reason with a narcissist or get him/her to see any side of any story but his/her own side. The narcissist will never consider any opinion or proven fact that differs from his/her belief, but will instead argue incessantly to defend his/her belief, opinion, or story. If the narcissist in unable to 'convert' you to his/her own warped truth, he/she manipulate you with guilt for daring to see things differently than the narcissist.


22. Combative / Argumentative.

The narcissist is like a snake, always looking for an opportunity to start an argument, and will fight incessantly (and pointlessly) about the same exact things, round and round for years and years. The narcissist will always be the one to start arguments, and often for no particular reason. The narcissist needs to win every argument, and will never stop raging... until you back down first and allow him/her to have the last word.  Beware though: The narcissist's last words, once he/she has reached a state of boiling rage, will always be cutting, insulting, abusive barbs meant to injure or even destroy you, if possible.


Coming to the end of this list I sadly have to admit that this is so. Not one of these suggested traits did they miss out on. Every single one is true. The very WORST of all is that this list is what they tell others I am, cause like the list says, they always project all bad they do and are unto another. That is the targeted individual. If you are targeted you will most likely find yourself utterly alone. Every person in your life who could help you will at most admit that you are targeted, but will not help you. Instead they will sit around to watch you get hurt more. It's cause alot of people love misery and pain, and they want to be fooled. They admire the charmers and the rich people. When on occasion they themselves find they have been targeted they will whine and complain, but as soon as someone else is taking the shit they will cheer on.  

And that is the reason we have the world we have. When good people do nothing, bad people can persist in their evil doings. Actually, many like to fool themselves into believing it's good to help the evildoers. You can read things like it's right to use violence on some groups, in the media. That it's okay to hurt people with certain opinions, to not listen to them, to hate them. While it's wrong for them to hate those hurting them. It's never ever okay to use violence and hurt people cause somebody else tells you to. If someone is attacking you, you have the right to defend yourself. That right is taken away now and your only right is to die. 

Luna IngRuna - Circle of Love