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torsdag 6 mars 2014

Survivor Malignancy?

What do I mean with Survivor Malignancy? Well, many people are counting themselves as survivors, or down right victims of narcissistic abuse, or other malignant abuse. Be it physical or mental, abuse is still abuse, and if someone feels belittled and not heard it's always a kind of abuse. Many feel that there is this contest going on - "my abuse was severe, but yours a joke" kind of mentality. Of course, that is very malignant, as it's abusive to the one being belittled.

I would also like to classify any kind of aligning with or supporting the abuser as malignant. It will perpetuate the abuse and might in worst case intimidate the abused party from opening up and to speak of what traumatized them. This might be a recent event, but it might also be an ongoing mental abuse, which started out as a downright physical abuse in early childhood. The malignant selfproclaimed "survivor" will search the net for new meat to attack and belittle, to further victimize what they clearly can see are traumatized adult children, now as adults finally daring to tell their tale. They will side with the abuser in their aim to "shut the f**k up" the once upon a time child, so the history are never told openly to the world. The malignant person wish this to be hidden in a closet never to be seen again.

They will claim to be victims themselves, but will not empathize half as much with the one being attacked, smeared, as the ones doing the attacking and smearing. They will tell the one speaking out that they must go back into the shadows and not be so insensitive as to speak out about what has happened to them. They will do this, full well knowing that it's done without a face or a name, but still they will not like the truth to be told. "You can speak your truth, but not on the net, and you can live your truth, just don't let anyone know about it" is the message these people will push onto you.

To scare you they might tell you that you are "judgemental" or "hateful" or both of these. They might tell you that telling what you know is "vicious" also. That's my experience, though in the example below the survivor uses neither of these nasty remarks. Others have done, and the man calling me "judgemental and hateful" did that on THREE occasions, which is magick in working, when I was talking about subjects which was neither, so I have no idea how he got that conclusion into the picture, or if he just had to through those words around for the fun of it.

Seriously I don't know, but it was uncomfortable to write to him, as he kept telling me I should not defend my truth, as there is no such thing as truth. I think he thought I was "judgemental" cause I didn't like people who lied to cheat other people and hurt them, who lied about their character and actions. I really do NOT like people doing that and I call them "psychopaths" without the slightest hesitation, as they are officially deemed the "people of the lie".

True psychopaths do not see a reason not to lie, if they can con people into believing the lie. And they early on learn that people tend to trust people who looks confident and "trust worthy", in expensive cloths and cars, who looks in disdain on anyone going against them. If you object to anything they say you are the bully, you are obstructing things to progress, you are the "problem", not them for doing things over your head and lying their teeth off. This they will hypnotize most into truly believing, so you have little or no chance against these psychopaths. They are the "good" guys to all who don't truly know them.

I was on YouTube checking up my subs and made a few comments. The video was about Aspergers vs Narcissists so I was very interested as that is about this worlds total dynamics. Those who can't understand the need to lie and the liars who love to lie. When the videomaker spoke about the narcs not admitting to being narcs I made a supportive comment about what he said, and did I get a handful from a so called "survivor". Remarks that seemed to be picked up in Fantasy land, which is where malignant people pick up their shit about you to make you into them or even worse. It's like one of the most insulting things when people turn everything around inspite of what you clearly have written.

Obviously this woman felt she's done nothing wrong, as she only gave me a typical malignant "excuse" when she realized she had totally turned everything backwards. That is to not apologize for your own behavior, but to say you're sorry the other person felt bad in some way. This way it's the other person who's to blame for being oversensitive, which is a typical catch frase from malignant people, "you are oversensitive" or "you are overreacting", while it's them who most of the times are totally overreacting over the slightest thing you say or do. The slightest thing they can misinterpret and they do, and then they tell you off like they had a right to do so. Either it's your family or strangers, neither have a right to tell you what you think, who you are and then put you down for being the way they themselves made up you to be.

Here is MY first comment: "About truly malignant narcs not admitting to it; I made a video with a poem that came to me after some hateful mails from my narc brother, and I wrote under the video that he, my narc brother (Edited the day after: I wrote that litterary - "my narc brother" and nothing else), was the inspiration to the poem. He found it - and went basurk! Wrote several mails to my husband (I'd blocked him by then) about me being insane, bonkers, in need to be sectioned, yada yada yada, refering as "proof" that poem. It's on another channel.
I know him, and I knew that if he'd read my comment on him being a narc he'd hate it, but I never sent him the link. He still found it, so his own fault for searching. I never look at the narcs garbage on their blogs, facebook, etc. If they would write there that I'm bonkers (no names/id's), I'd still not react and send them hate mails. It's their freedom to feel that way and as long as it's not spread around family and friends, it's fine as I think they are psychopathic selfish liars.
But THAT is exactly what they do - spread it with names and all - while accusing us/me of stalking (yes, even that!) and defamation, just for mentioning stuff on the net with no real names. Not even my own face this - would you guess???
So of all goings on my narc brother was MOST upset over a poem about love? No, he was most upset over me writing he's a narc below the video, I bet, though he never mentioned that fact in his mails. I took away that remark under the video as he does not have a proper diagnosis, but it's in your face blatant to anyone who knows him. He's like a text book spiecement - the perfect example."

After that I directly added a rough translation of the poem. I just can't see how even if it's not the best of poems, and the translation might suck, this so called survivor could not see it was a poem by someone clearly hurt who was dead tired of being abused by people playing games, making themselves more important then her, and likened their grandiosity with clowns, as it's all fake.
How can anyone not see that when they read this poem is beyond me: "Tried to translate the poem, so it's perhaps a bit "weird", or it's just me being bonkers as the high and mighty narcs know I am:
The love flows from the depth of the hearts
with the one who lives close to that which life arrived from
When betrayals are gathered without regrets
from those who lack feeling for right and wrong the love stiffens up

It shakes like a leaf shivers perplexed around
till one day when it ends and the hate arrives
The hate is like a sword which cuts through flesh and blood
it burns and hurts worse then one might think

So easy it is to forget let go of these throes
Believe one has forgiven those who no regrets have
But deceit which never is regretted only becomes worse deceit
guilt are then blamed on the one decieted until all is wrecked

Cause the love cannot flow when deciet births hate on hate
and unresolved feelings becomes anger until of the love there is nothing left
Then first the hate is soothed and the contempt silently begins
when one sees them for what they are and not for what one wished them to be

One day - who knows - in a distant future
indifferent one shakes the shoulders to their worthless manners
They become daft loonies who believes the world is their stage
but see not what another sees that they are clowns without any manege?"

To all of the above this proclaimed survivor replies: "you wrote "so his own fault for searching" and "he was most upset over me writing he's a narc below the video" Dear Inglis I don't know you  personally however in the future, if you're going to use a relative's bio, on the web, please ask their permission, but you say you didn't use his name. How did your brother guess it was intended for him?Your brother doesn't have to comply to your wishes and admit he's a narc. There is no justification for any type of posturing or supposition when exposing your friends or family members on the web. Don't get me wrong, I do understand your position with your brother, there are issues which need to be addressed off the web."

I hardly can make myself look at this hateful and lying piece of garbage she tossed at me. First sencence she implies it's my fault my brother looks around my YouTube account. It's not his, as a free individual, but it's my fault. To me that is like being back home again with those sick twisted malignant scapegoat-makers again. Home sweet home. Then she picks another small part of a sentance and just toss out there, which makes it all different. In a small way, very different, as you might see if you read my reply, as I in the rest of the sentance, she so cleverly cut out, claim I am betting on that this was what made him most angry at the poem, as I can't see how anyone can get so furious over somebody's poem, clearly written when in agony, unless... 

Unless, he or she is a very unempathetic, sick mother f***er. Sorry for the bad language, but that's absolutely true. You have to be a heartless sick person who attack someone who's in that much hurt, as that poem tells you. I had to write it as I was in total agony and in my estimation the attacker on YouTube felt it too, and her own narcissistic hunger was raised. She saw an easy target, attacked and then sat there and licked up the food. Yummy, yummy. 

What she does is exactly what my mother would have done. She misrepresent what I did write, take what they have done to me and blames me for it and then she puts the victim gloria on my abuser. I'm sure he'll thank her when they meet at the yearly narc convention. Be sure to not miss it baby! He'll be the cute charming guy in the beard who looks much younger then he is. Not much older then he got married to that stunningly beautiful latino babe two decades ago. And if he brings her along she'll be that broken down, over weight tired old lady, who's aged like twice as fast since then. It might be her genes, or it might be all her worries and pain. Either way, you'll find them easy enough. If there is such a thing as a narc convention. Maybe I'm just making it up as I haven't really heard about one.

So getting back to serious business, as I was kidding to make myself less sad with that joke of a convention. As I said she fakes sympathy, like my mother would, by writing me a "Dear you" letter. It's just not my name though, which is very sloppy and rude, but I don't care for such puny insults, so lets move on to the bigger sharks. She then tells me how to behave in the future, just like my mother would. I bet she's not even as old as myself, so it feels really funny.

Then she starts the lies, about me using a relatives bio, which is total bullocks, and if she's read my first comment she'd know that. So either she hasn't or she's just trying to piss me off for some of that negative sweet narc food. Then she tells me I need permissions from my relatives, or specifically from my brother. Oh, he'd love her for that. He loves when people tell me I have no rights of my own and can not do as I wish, without his permission. Is she on his payrole? Joking again, cause despite what my mother thinks, I'm not the paranoid one. She is.
So, I need to ask my brother for a permission to post a poem I have made myself on YouTube, read by myself? That is what I read there, as even she admits me telling I did not write his name there. So why does she tell me this? The only explaination I come up with is that she is a narc in sheep clothing. She's malignant and she just found out I had lots of aspi-traits and she knows they make yummy food.

Narcs love to toy with aspies, as I was raised watching this all around me. They have no clue what is going on and no way of defending themselves. They are like sitting ducks to narcs, and she just found out I might be kind of one. But I am not, I only share their feelings for liars and manipulators, and I like solitude, nature, animals and have a very high IQ, high education, but low social skills.

I am over empathetic and by that easily used by those playing the empathy card which is why I don't like people that much as you tend to get shit on your face whenever you put your trust in people. I had alot of empathy for this woman and have even defended her on the net from another woman who put her down for not getting an excuse from her mother.

But, when she attacks me she might have missed that I'm writing from another account and thinks I'm someone else, someone she can easily fool into introjecting her projections of being bad and doing naughty stuff by talking about these issues on the net.

Below you will see her change as I reply from another account. Back to her first reply she stupidly asks me how my brother could know the poem was "intended for him". I had said inspired by him, as it was about all abusers mistreating people in this world. All ex boyfriends messing with my head, all fake friends and family members. I said he inspired me, and if she had bothered to respect me she'd seen the difference.

That is what artists do, they get inspired. They don't go around creating art to spite people, unless in the eyes of abusers. I've run into a few of them in my life, hence the poems about them, which there are plenty of by now, and they all believe that any piece of art I do is to spite them, and any piece of poetry is to ridicule them. That is how the malignant looks on others - as spiteful vicious beings out to hurt them with their creations. If I wish to hurt someone I rather use words straight in their face then hide it away in poetry or art. Only a sick mind would dream up such ridiculous notions. Artists create their best work while ridding themselves of energies that they need to get rid of. It's a cleansing exercise and writing is very much art too.

So how could my brother understand I was "inspired" by him, she asks. Well, she deserves an answer, even if her question is stupid to say the least. As I wrote I had written that the poem was inspired by my narcissistic brother under the video with the poem. There, do you think that answers her question? I didn't bother to answer it to her directly cause I didn't want to insult her as there was no way to answer such a stupid question without insulting. She is asking a question when she already knows the answer, that is what makes it into a very stupid question. Perhaps she thinks he could not possibly known as the poem might had been inspired by my aspi brother. But would I not have written so then, that it was inspired by my aspi brother? And to my knowledge I do not have anymore brothers, unless she knows of a few I have no idea about.

Perhaps she was not feeling well when she wrote it, I thought, and was out to find someone to dislike as her own life felt awful and she needed a scapegoat. Perhaps the one she had ones had escaped and she could not feel good now when that goat was not there anymore to have it more terrible then her? It's a terrible thing to say, but in these families they breed envy and stepping on others so much that the one ending up in the bottom is the safe guard for everyone else to not be the worst. When that person is gone, the rest need to pick up their own shit, so to speak. And then the poor goat is sorely missed, but not in the way one would prefer.

In my family that goat was mostly my oldest aspi brother ever since we became adults and he joined a church they could mock him for, though father loved to talk to him either way, and they of course always had me to pick on whenever they needed another goat. Guess I was supposed to be the main goat now after my spath sis framed me? Too bad I will never ever in my life have any more contact with either of them ever more, so they can eat their own shit, metaphorically speaking. I will not accept it.

I really don't feel like having to explain all the absurdities in her reply, which is why I keep tracking off the rail into other things. As you can see she treats me like a naughty child. Tells me my abusive brother does not have to admit to me he's a narc, which I never ever anywhere claim he has to, but she projects that wish onto me. This is where I get furious with her, as she is so insulting and hurtful right there. She is so malignant I want to scream at her: Go away you evil cow! Yes, that is my gut feeling when I read these truly nasty projections. 

As I said the YouTube-video was talking about the issue that narcs normally does not admit to being narc, and I commented that I agreed and she makes it out as I am the one sitting on my high horses demanding them to admit it. She never scolds at the cute guy in the video saying exactly the same thing, but at me for giving him an example from real life. 

I said it cause I felt in my bones it was the fact I had written "inspired by my narc brother" about the video was the real reason he freaked out. He did not freak out about the other poem about lies, which I did send him, under which I said it was inpired by my lying sister, and called her a truly funny name "Yes-nodder Stuckup-Glue". The woman commenting here does not know this, she hardly knows anything, but still she feels entitled to put me right and tell me what I can and what I cannot do.

What she actually says to me, and all others speaking out against their abusers, is straight out to shut up. She tells me I cannot speak on the net, like she and other people can. Like the one making the video we are commenting under. He shows his face and would surely be easy to recognice. What she does is to help my abusers to intimidate me into submission. That by telling me I have no right to make poems or write about these issues on the net. Period. As she already has admitted she knows that I do not use any names and its all anonymous. Still she's on their side, and she knows by now they are smearing me to family and friends. Still she sides with them.

She accuses me of making up things while she is making up things right there as I never ever has posted their names when telling my story. I don't share their last name, so even if I should had used my real name, which I never do when I talk about this subject, nobody would know who they'd be, unless they'd be close family and I don't do family as they all turned down my offer to join my family group. I own them nothing and she wish me to feel shame for being me and speaking my truth. No, I say "shame on you" for trying to shame a person on the web you admit of knowing nothing about. You should feel very very ashamed of what you did there. You told a person she had no rights to defend herself against their abuse and that she needed permission from her abuser to speak. Lady, you are seriously ill.

I got very upset from her nasty reply and replied back: "You totally got that absolutely the wrong way, XXX. I did not "use his bio". Where do I say that? Absolutely I said the opposite.
So ok, I should not talk about this on the web (like you obviously think you can), I should be intimidated by his bullying and not even dare to show my face anonymouse on the net? Thanks for letting me know. While HE can write lies to the court, to friends and relative, using my real name, my husbands real name, and so can the other narcs in my family.
I really like you XXX, but that was not a good thing to hear - at all. Ok, I'll crawl back and internalize it all like I've done for the last 50 yrs. Me bad for even daring to open my mouth.... Guess my poem proved to you too I am insane, so I will comply and have me put on drugs and admit that their gaslighting of me is ok, that I having a witness and their favourite sister having none make ME the liar and her a saint. Good to know from a narcissistic expert I am the one in error for DARING to make an anonomous video on YouTube. Thank you thank you thank you!!!?"

Yes, I am seriously pissed at her reaction as I feel it in my bones that this is the malignant virus talking to me again. The virus wanting me to shut the fuck up and be really scared and not dare to show my face. That is why I write it in a very sarcastic tone the part about crawling back, as I have no intention ever to let these awful projecting unempathic virusinfected people do that to me again.

I will keep on writing and every person attacking me I will fend off. I will not stalk them, like this woman seems to think is ok to do if you are a narc. While she has a different set of rules for the stalked, who can't even speak out to defend themselves without permission from the stalker. Well, she has a totally different view when I reply to her from another account she knows me from earlier on when I defended her against another narc-lover. I call these women falling in love with narcs their whole adult lives for that - narc-lovers - cause they have a soft spot in their hearts for these selfish, ruthless bastards. Some stupid almost aspi-type she can put down and make to feel really wrong and bad. Sweet lady, yes? I thought so, but hey, I've loved my selfish, righteous family for far too long too, believing all their crap. But I've seen the light and fuck no. I don't believe them anymore.

I realize more things and make another comment from the account she does know me from: "And where did you get that from that I demanded he should admit to being a narc? Oh my god.... I only commented the video (from another account as this is my Time of the Beasts account for my group dealing with psychopaths) as Spartan said narcs wont admit to this. THAT is why I said it - listen to the video before drawing far fetched really hurtful conclusions about others, which IS typical for "survivors" I've heard."

After a short while I make another comment from the account I now have the poem on: "Actually what I wrote was: "No, he was most upset over me writing he's a narc below the video, I bet, though he never mentioned that fact in his mails." See the end part? I am guessing! Does "posturing or supposition" mean I can not make anonymous guesses (= not PC)? Don't really know what that means, as english is not my language, but I do my best.
By the way THIS is the channel the poem is on, so obviously my real name is Karlekens Cirkel and my true face is a red amaryllis. Sorry for getting so upset due to this very odd reply, but I'm fed up with pathological projections, as this is an ongoing thing. Me not being allowed to speak. The narcs even wrote that to the High Court that they should ignore me as what I said had no value. They say that alot and you XXX wants me to resolve it with them! Sorry, if it wasn't so sad I'd laugh. I could not even tell them two words worth of listening to, as I am a non-human to them. I am a nobody, nothing, worthless piece of garbage. Get it? Father loved me, my aspie brother loves me, to the narcs I'm just an asset and I have no value anymore. Dead meat."

What the real liars and manipulators of this world does is to forbid you to speak your truth, threaten you for saying anything that can be traced back to them in anyway, then they ridicule you for speaking anonymously and pointing their fingers at you for being the sneaky narc for using fake accounts, fake names or even multiple accounts. I've seen alot of lies about this easy method to spot a liar on the net, as if it was that easy. No, the liars use their own names on Facebook, invite friends to share their problem in private and will then, in private, spin their tales about you without any second thought to protect your identity. Not one!

Reading this she decides to make the famous non-excuse: "I'm sorry if you felt offended, you no doubt suffer from all this turmoil. Your father loved you, so does your brother. You have an advantage here, you are aware you're an asset to the narc, but it does not mean you have no value, you may have no value to the narc...however they can't take away your freedom, and rights as a person. You value yourself, it doesn't matter if they don't value you, they're not worth your time or effort if they don't wish to communicate intelligently or with compassion. No one here wants you to feel bad. You comment anything you like to share, and don't let anyone stop you."

By now it's possible she's figured out who that silly aspi-sympathizer was and wishes to make mends, but not really apologies as that would be to admit to being wrong. Like you can see above I did regret getting so upset with her due to her odd reply, and point out to her that I found it pathological. And as you can see she never touches the fact that her first reply came out as pathological with all its false projections. She does not in one word admit she was misrepresenting what I truly had said or that she mistook herself. 

To admit to being wrong takes a big person, not physically, but mentally, and she just can't do it. So I can say, for instance, that I'm sorry she felt she had the right to judge and patronize me like she did. Which just means that I am not sorry for anything else then that she's rude. Nice one? 
What she does tell me is a whole different tune now, and perhaps that is cause she figured out who I am, i.e I am now allowed to speak. Still one thing is the same: She keeps telling me what to do, like a child. All she says applies to her aswell, as I don't need her permission to do anything and I was only sarcastic when I said I had to stop talking about this.

I try to make mends anyways as I hate being enemies with folks: "Thanks for your reply and same to you, XXX. Write whatever you want about your own stuff, please do. (This is my pink channel. I'm checking my accounts, changing the logins - not wanting to be sneaky, all flowers are my groups, faces are me though only symbolically.)
Father loved his narcs most of all, and it's been painful to see how they thank him for that. He built summer houses to them and let them use them for free. It was the ungratefulness and trying to con father after his death that put us totally off them. The bullying narc brother is most likely NOT the culprit in this scheme, so hence the sad poem to him. The narc brother is totally under mothers spell, who is helping out the suspected culprits. He's smart enough to know what really is going on, so he's choosen to "believe" the lie, though knowing I have a witness, the other one doesn't, as her husband left the building for the gaslighting to occure. Their plan failed when the aspie brother entered and aspies are known to be very good witnesses too. Another good point. They are keen on details, and both of us together soon had remembered the whole thing down to small details.
To me it's like the narcs feel they are the winners as they conned their "unloving parents" (their own assessment, not mine, as father did love them alot) into giving them more, and we are the loosers for letting them con. That's why in their reasoning it's their own hard work that father built those houses (indeed, it's credit to THEM). It's all a game, who wins and who looses, to THEM. Us not wanting to make father work so hard, spare his poor heart, makes us weak and pathetic. According to THEM, again.
By the way the High Court did listen to me. My request was very legit to them. Made me smile alot. :))"

She seems quite put off by this reply, which does not make me out as someone who should be very grateful for the love of my father. She ignores all I write and puts focus on one thing and one thing only - my multiple accounts. As I said, there is this tale on the net of narcs using multiple accounts.

She chooses to comment only this fact: "yes I'm aware of your many profiles and your flower symbols."

Not very friendly, so I realize she does not really want to be friendly at all. She seems to wish to remain her posture, which she's now said a few times to me in other conversations, that I am very lucky "still having some of my birth family". Hence the focus on that my father loved me and so did a brother. So the fact he loved the other children more, or atleast showed more love for them, is then of no interest. She sounds actually quite bored, if you ask me. Maybe she gave up trying to convince me that I should feel thankful and stop pesturing her and others with nonsens tales? That is, it was all a contest and if I wont get it and admit to being inferior, I am no fun no more. I've seen her and others do that, almost apologize for not being the ultra super "victim" and it's really not healthy. You should be allowed to share your stories, without others judging them "good enough" or "not good enough" to be told, or you're dealing with a malignant.

A short reply from my first account, with an alien face: "We come in peace." 

I then realize I've been had, big time, and comment: "Just realized one thing - "I'm sorry if you felt offended". It's kind of a "sorry you are a tad oversensitive". A classic non-excuse? How did I miss it. :))
Well, I'm not sorry I felt offended, as that made me realize all this. Thanks again as it made me even more sure we should look at all our subconscious mind programs more. The repeating of malignant behavior, like projecting upon others what they did not say or even intended to say. Things originating from ones own subconscious mind perhaps?
About the silly faces, I was out of flowers so hence not flowers on all accounts. Maybe if I ever get around to paint more of them? Kind of like the alien though. And the Galadriel one - that's a crazy classic. :))"

I do not direct this reply to her, as I tell that to everyone actually. This excuse is one of those mentioned on sites about malignant narcissistic mothers. This is how they make excuses after abusing their poor children. So she treats me like a child, then makes a fake excuse, then changes her whole first statements to the opposites. Narcs don't care for opinions, or right or wrong. They care for whatever works for them. They are against wars, if that is beneficial, and the next time the worst war promotors you can find. All depending on what's in it for them.
On my oldest account I feel an urge to write another comment. I know, I talk too much: "My main account - the mother of all accounts?
About the poem, I never said anything more then that it was inspired by my narc brother. All else here is projections from fantasy land and not what I wrote. No names, I said. Even deleted if from it's original channel, so it's on my new Karlekens Cirkel channel. My narc brother found it on my old KC channel (now renamed) cause I had made an oath, swearing on all I hold precious, that I am telling the truth, and sent it off to those it truly concerned and noone else. It was sent bbc by my sister to her husband who revealed it by replying back to me with police threats if I'd not take down my oath. This is significant as they later on claim to the court that I was including my husband in our private conversations on this issue, while her husband made a big blooper and revealed he was getting our e-mails. Also, he'd been phoning home to me telling me off on another issue, which by then was sorted and he should not had meddled. Still they claim to the court my husband done all that and alot more the narc mother dreamed up. Sweet people. 
They do try and scare you, intimidate you (to shut you up), ridicule you, smear you, project all their own doings on you, and people with leanings towards narcs tend to take their side. Like the lower court did, which my sister was phoning and influencing them to choose her lawyer, while we'd asked for an independant one. She's very good and I'm sure most of you would love her much more then someone like me. Which I could take credit for in the case people do, as I raised her to be nice to people. But I could not do much about her inner self as you are what you are and not an empty slate. Backside was that I was responsible for all her doings too, and worked full time as her scapegoat. I also worked as the narc brothers scapegoat whenever our aspi brother was not up for the job. It's a dirty job, but someone got to do it - so above so below.
The higher court did NOT fancy them, so perhaps no narc-lovers there? Now the case is back in the lower court for a new ruling. This time, hopefully, they will not only listen to the liars and bullies. :))"

Remember she was dead against me revealing any of this about my family in her first comment? Yes, she was. Then she gave me her permission to speak. Sounded very supportive, and perhaps she was. Either way I hate to be intimidated again by people telling me what to do and what not. Most people are weak, power hungry and evil, in my opinion. I'd say most people have alot of narc traits, though only a minority are full blown narcs. I used to hope people are good deep down, but I'm not too sure about that anymore. 

I believe only very few are and I call all good people angels. The truly evil people I call demons. My mother used to tell me she was followed by a demon. I listened to a video the other day where a guy told about his girlfriend who told him she was followed by a demon. She was really scared of the demon and then one day she behaved really odd, stood in a corner talking jibberish. The tale he told was like a possession, in my view. Afterwards the girlfriend changed from the needy, helpless victim she'd been, into a groce, abusive horried and over-sexed person. Like a demon. 

The thing is that there are issues with the narcs in my family, like the over drinking, dating inappropriate people, lots of sex, an over emphesizing on bodily pleasures and such things which indicate one thing again. Also the change of personalities and behavior patterns. Already when I was very young I had this notion my mother had two personalities, one evil and one good.

My narc brother has multiple personalities and those meeting the funny sweet nice guy would never dream he could be the vicious, screaming and hateful person he was when he was yelling at father who just had had a big heart attack and should not be yelled at. He's scared a young mother so much she dare not go near him. She speaks of him like you would the devil.

She's a very sweet person, whom father truly trusted and he was mostly right on judging peoples character. He felt I was honest and respected me for taking care of myself and my big family. He felt very differently about my selfish siblings, but he still loved them more, as I was so good I could handle that too apparently.

My sister has done very naughty things too, which are typical for psychopaths or demons perhaps. They truly do not get what is right or what is wrong, those pesky demons. They need to be told and taught and not pampered with, without guidance. Or they'll not function in society at all. Today high functioning psychopaths, often called sociopaths, run our world. They run the multinational companies that are ravaging our planet.

In a dying world these pathological, sick beings are left to run things, in a living universe we see them as the very immature, greedy, selfish little children they are and wont give them any guns to play with. I hate to compare them to children as I really don't think they are children at all. They are old people that refuse to learn what they need to learn to move on in the game. Very old people who love to stay put and again and again play the same thing, over and over, until they've learned how to con and lie the best, and get very rich. I honestly think that's what they think this is all about. And they could not be more wrong.
IngRuna - Circle of Love

1 kommentar:

IngRuna sa...

The woman mentioned in this blog was someone I was following on Google+ on an account I call "Time of the Beasts" but in swedish. When she jumped on me, twisting my story around, I was writting from another account, which has a fake name on it and an alien face. As I was quite disgusted by her phony "non-excuse" for insulting me, by twisting what I had written around 180 degrees, I stopped following her from my "Time of the beasts" account. I didn't block her, I didn't insult her more then she might had been by my replies I have posted in this blog. I just decieded she was too malignant for me to handle, as I can't stand any more false projections, phony non-excuses and fake "mothering", which she did in her replies in her posts. That is acting like she could give me "permission" to speak or not, that is "mothering". I'm past 50 by now and a grandma. This woman is not even a mother, and she "mothers" me. So I clicked and un-followed her. Today I noticed when looking on a video there was a reply to her, but her comment didn't show. I was on my family group account. So I went to her account and I was blocked! I don't even remember if I followed her from this account, but I guess I did. So by unsubing to her accounts, and only THAT, she blocked me!!!! That is pretty insane. I then went on to my "Time of the Beasts" account, which I do remember unsubing her from, and the same thing. I was blocked for the mere insult of unsubing her. I didn't even block the lady who called this blog "vicious" after she had looked at it and all there was on it then was alot of swedish blogs, and she put the judgment out there for all to see. That lady also had made the comment that this blog was "falsly named" and she more or less thought she had the "right" to determine that for me. Which is again - OVERSTEPPING YOUR BOUNDARIES. This other lady is also, like the one blocking my two accounts, a "survivor" from abuse, and a long time narc-lover. Both these ladies inspired me to do this blog, and taught me first hand something another "survivor" and long time narc-lover had told me on her blog. That is that alot of these "survivors" are quite pathological and carry alot of shit around. She, the other blog writer, has inpired me alot too. She is very smart and has come along road in her life. Her soul is growing. I'd recomend you to read her - you find her on wordpress as the ability to love. Great blog, but mostly for those with longterm relationships with narcs, psychopathic fathers and perhaps issues with pathological children. Neither is me, so I read her blog cause she teaches me alot, and so do her other readers. Love, IngRuna