Goddess Myths

At last I've come to my last red site - the sixth. Recently it was my fifth red site, but now it's the last. However, don't get confused by me calling this site a red site, with that the design actually is red on the site. It's more green and brown, then red. When I call sites red it's cause they are under the Red Pill category and are dealing with deeper secrets. This last one is the most secret of them all, obviously, and is straight out dealing with the occult, the hidden and what has been kept a secret. You will also find out about our old gods and goddesses that my ancestors fought and died for to keep, while others saw the chance to get ahead and betrayed the old ways and joined the new church instead. Therefore they fought on both sides, while the later pagan sainted Sigrid fought for the old ways, being the queen of the Eastern Realms, on the other side in the West was the king on the Romans side. There is no other way to say this, but he seemed to have been a true shithead and betrayed the others and thanks to that the pagans had to both fight their kin in the west, while fighting the hordes from the south. You can visit my site here - Goddess Myths.

The most famous Asir gods and goddesses have their own webpages, and there is also a page listing many more. It's been a long time since it's updated, but there are a few nice items still. These Gods and Goddesses however were living people with their blood traced back to those that are not humans. The Nordics came here about 3000 years ago, which is about the same time as the ruling family in Sumer left that place. This is not the only connection, but they've found a DNA connection too. It's said that Sumer were hit by a Black Death like plague at that time and more then half of the population died, if not more. The rulers were blamed, as they were supposingly choosen by the Gods to rule, and were also of the bloodline of the Gods. When so many people died it's said that the people considered that the rulers had fallen out of grace, that the Gods did not support them anymore, so they had to leave. The interesting thing is that as Sumer seems to have fallen due to a massive plague, so did the Roman Empire totally transform after a plague. Another interesting matter is that it's said that a huge meteorite hit Sumer shortly before the plague, which is something many have commented on, how these plagues seem to follow after a meteorite hit.

So about 1500 years after Sumer vanished, or rather the rulers of that land vanished as the land is still there, a similar plague hit Rome and caused a severe crisis there. Shortly after that next plague, surely causing enormous amounts of death and suffering, the Catholic Church came to be, and then all those wars and the attacks that reached the Nordic countries. Just like the Scots built a big wall to defend against these raving murderers, so did the Goths of the north. There was a huge wall built to separate northern Europe from the south as the Roman hords went into the Gothic countries and pillaged and murdered thousands of thousands of innocent people. It was after one of those pillages, where they'd slaughtered thousands of people in a big village that the idea came to strike back. This is the origin of the Lindisfarne attack, and it's nothing like that stupid television program makes it out to be. The vikings knew very well there was a very big and important settlement by the Roman Church, filled with soldiers and of course monks as there was a monestry. They didn't go look for land and just happened to arrive at this little cute monastery, which that stupid program says. No, they went there to crush their enemies like any nation would that was in war with a fierceful and brutal enemy.

Remember, that the Catholic Church in reality was just an evolution of the Roman Empire, which used war as a major tactic. This new tactic by using the image of innocence and victim was a way to take away the guilt of the same blood shed the Empire had caused. Nothing had changed really, only the propaganda. Now they were holy men out on a holy war for the innocent sacrifice of Jesus Christ. What a con! Also, remember that the Goths were the people that founded England, and had intermarried and defended Mercia for hundreds of years together with their Gaelics friends. Actually, if you ask me the Gaelics and the Goths both originate from the same source and are really not that different, but only moved a little differently. The Gaelics became that when they arrived to the British Ilses and what is told is that they came there from Scytia actually. Their Queen is said to have been Scota, the daughter of Akhenaton and Nephertite and her King had been a prince of Scytia who became King of Iberia, or Spain. He is the guy that gave name to the word military, most likely as he was a very warring type of guy. Scytia is the same place as much later was Khazar, which is the source of the eastern jews, who in no way are semites, like arabs are.

So the myth is that the prince of Scytia, which thousands years later became Khazar and converted to judaism to be able to use interest and not have to pay to either Rome, nore Bagdad, married the Egypt princess Scota and went and conquered Iberia, which is the penisula Spain is on, and then he - Militus - died and his sons and wife went to conquer places like Ireland and Scotland, which got it's name from Scota, of course. Scota died and are buried in Tara, where they've found the exact same necklace as they've found in Egypt, in Thutakamon's grave, who's a son of Akhenaton and Nephertite. So that's more or less the myth. For awhile also Ireland had a name after this Scota chick, but I don't remember what that was right now. Ireland has had many names and I don't remember what the vikings called the island, nore what Tuta de Danan called it. But I remember that it's said that the gaelic language where created by these people conquering Ireland from Tuta de Danan. Another thing I remember is that Nephertite's grandparents were from Sumer, so hence there is all these connections back to these people, which later on is said to be related to the Goths, and of course the vikings.

So no way the vikings were these stupid wildlings that they are portraited as now, but they were travelers and knew how to go to west and east, south and north. They knew the way back to Sumer, or Iraq. They knew how to travel to the Americas, and the Egypts traveled to Australia. And what about the redhead Phonecians? Why is their letters exactly the same from beginning to end as the runes? Yes, if you look at the meaning of each letter they are the same. And the Kazarian rulers are said to have been redhead. This land lies by the Crimerian, where the crimerian goths lived. Another name that popes up there are the Tauries, or the "earthlings" if you watch television programs like STG1. Perhaps cause they came from the Tauri system? There is this very old and big star called Aldebaran, which in reality is the star Alpha Tauri, and it's the big red eye in the starsign of the Bull. So now do you see the reason the bull is so celebrated in so many cultures? In my opinion all these people are the same and related, but they lived in different areas and inter-married. That this is the reason the vikings married with the irish, the english and so on.

By letting us think nothing is inter-connected we don't see the obvious, that it is connected. These are the same families and people and they are related, though they have mixed in with people wherever they've lived so on a surface they might look a bit different after awhile, but to start with I would suggest they were all very much alike. I think this is the reason there are the same kind of constructs all over the planet. There were many more in the old times, but many have been destroyed as they were the same in America as you find here. Also the objects found there were too much like what are found here, so I think it needed to be covered up to make the fairytale about how this continent was "found". It was always there and those knowing about it always did and were there many times and even lived there and interbred with the natives, who really are the same people as all the rest you find around the globe, living in the far north. It's the same people as the natives in my own country, and the same people that live in Siberia that are native there. So they lived all around the globe and they were asian. They were living here when the Goths arrived 3000 years ago, and they are still here.

A thought I've had is that people move around and it can go very fast when it happens. So the stories about white people living in Japan long ago, before those that live there now, might be true, just like the stories of the whites living in other places, where they are not supposed to have lived according to mainstream history. Like in America, where there are such stories and there were tribes where they lived in longhuts and some had blonder hair and blue eyes. These traits are very easily breeded out of a group of people, so to have blond people with blue eyes will soon be a very rare things in only 200 years of interbreeding with asian, blacks or any of these more dominant races. That's a fact. You take a blond, blue eyed girl and get her together with a really black guy and their children will all have very dark skins and eyes. There will not be one trace of the blond girl in any of her children and all will look like their dad. If you keep breeding these children with other children like them you might get 25% blue eyed, but still very coloured, children. You might get a few with a little lighter hair, more straight hair, but as soon as you interbreed them with totally black people all these things are all gone very rapidly.

This is the reason there are so many whites scared of being breeded out of this planet, so in 200 years there will be no more Nordics. You know, the true blonds with these clear blue eyes. This might be the reason why people in the ancient times tried to interbreed mostly within the same kind of groups, cause of some scare of loosing a specific look. Now it's very hip to mingle, and it's true that if you, as a breeder of any kind, don't take care of the weaker looks they will disappear and you will no longer have any of these kinds of looks anymore. Like the white cats, which would totally disappear if people wasn't so eager to breed on these cats. White cats would barely make it as tougher kinds do. They are often deaf and they seem to also be more fragile in their health. Many totally hearing white cats I've known have still been more inclined to get harmed when let out, running free, then others seems to. But it might just had been a fluke, but considering how few white cats there are, I must say they do seem to live very short lives. So by likening the very pale human races with the white cats, I am not really meaning that whites are weaker, but the whiteness, the blondness, the blue eyes are the weaker DNA, and the DNA of coloured skin, dark hair and brown eyes are dominating genes.

So it's the genes of the darker races that are dominating, and in that way stronger, though as a person this might not be true. A white person does not need to be weaker then any other, is what I want to say, it's just that this planet seems to have favored some DNA and not others. This is due to the conditions of the planet, I would guess. That you are much better off with a darker skin, as the sun can burn pretty hard on most places. The rest I don't really understand the reason of, like what is better with brown eyes then blue. Perhaps it's due to the sun too, as there was this boy in China that could see in the dark, and could not stand the sunlight, and he was born with bright blue eyes. So maybe the blue eyes are better off in dark places, like the Nordic countries in the winter? And perhaps in a planet with a weaker sun, a darker sun? Just a thought. As there are pyramids both on Earth, on the Moon and even on Mars, one might consider that whoever came here long ago, changed the beings on this planet into humans, as there have been many other races here then humans that surely were very human like and had nothing to do with apes. And these people might had come from a darker world, like perhaps a red star system, like Aldebaran.

Lets talk about the gifts I've shown so far and leave my thoughts about all these myths and stories for awhile. The top gift of the lovely blond maiden was made using a tutorial, while the second one of Odin was made all by myself, using a graphic. The third and forth gifts are both made from lovely tutorials and the fifth gift is a lady I made from a tutorial, with a frame I've made. The pretty girl above is from a frame tutorial, just like all the ones you see below. Most of them are symbolizing the goddess, so therefore all the beautiful girls. I now wish to talk about more modern myths, as those ruling us right now are big on creating confusion and myths. They make false flags and make up stories using their mediums to enchanted us with. Their tales are really convincing and they are repeated many times, as you need to tell a tale atleast three times to make it magically true. This it the reason they tell their stories so many times, as if they'd only told their lies one time we'd not really believe them. What they do tell us one time is the truth. So listen carefully what they only tell you one time, as that is the truth. 

The reason they only tell us the truth one time is cause those ruling us now are very evil and this very destructive energy is not allowed to do what they do, unless they get our consent. By letting us know and us not reacting and doing anything against their intentions, we give our consent. It's a very dirty trick, but that is how they do it. Then they will use all their parlor tricks they got up their sleeves to fool us, which is allowed as they've always first told the truth. They will bewilder us with their images, and stories, and crying people. They will point with their whole hands and tell us their tales. All lies, or twisted truths. They do use truth when it's useful, but twists it slightly. This is how they've done so many things that it's even hard to remember and recollect even the many I've figured out or heard about. But the lies and deceptions go so deep that sometimes it's hard to know where the lies end and the truth begins. It's hard cause they are so good at double lies and triple deceptions. One of the major ones in this millenia is of course the events going down in 2001. In my opinion all of that was a huge scam, a big magic trick, and they made three skyscrapers vanish using their own tech, while blaming all sorts of other reasons.

I don't like to talk about these events as I figured them out long ago and it's boring to me to see how many are still running around in the deceptors wheel of lies and double lies. They love to make us do that, run around in circles and argue with each other. So they use people to put us freethinkers in check and you will know when you are thinking "wrong" as someone will contact you and tell you to stop thinking these thoughts. That's when you are guilt tripped for thinking freely and told you are a bad person for having own thoughts, and that you are all sorts of bad things. You might be told to be gullible, or mean, or just ruining it for all humans on this planet, cause you think your own thoughts, instead of some group, which in most likelyhood was set up by the perpetrators themselves, to rear in everyone who starts to question things going on here on planet Earth. These groups are called things referring to "truth", as that is what freethinkers are looking for. We are all looking for the truth, so by calling these groups by that word we are supposed to go there and look. And when there we are told to stop looking for the truth and follow the dogma of the group, which forbids you to think further, as thinking will ruin things for us all.

No, it's not thinking freely that will ruin it for us all, and it's this very fight against all freethinkers that is the conflict that destroys us. It's those very people that blame us for fighting, that is the ones that are fighting. They are fighting against freethinking, against revelations of the occult, the secrets, the hidden truths, and they want to silence the voice of the many and only allow a few chosen voices. That is not freedom and it's not the best for us all. It's the best for the perpetrators of the lies and deceptions of this world, if we are not allowed to reveal them. This principle goes with any questioning and search for the truth, in any area. That some people will work against this and help out to stop your quest. Most will do it as people are under severe group think, and they are needy of leaders and they don't believe in themselves, so they need someone to follow and believe in instead. They are looking for saviors, so they see freethinkers as a danger, as they are not their chosen Messiah. Actually there is a very small amount of people that knowingly do this destruction of truth on this planet, as 99% that does it don't even understand what they are doing.

The above group think is the same as when people that don't do anything when they see a person being mistreated and smeared as they see that everyone else seem to agree with this. They are the enablers of the wrongdoings as they don't take responsibility for their own thinking and instead they hang out and admire some leader, whom they trust to save them. This is what the enablers of a bully do too. They believe that by agreeing with all the shit the bully does and says they will themselves become uplifted in the hierarchy and gain some sort of award for their loyalty. What most likely will happen is instead that they will one day themselves do something that does not fit the bully and then become the target of this ruthless person themselves. It's like the old saying about how when you don't stand up for others rights, there might be noone left to stand up for yours, the day they come for you. So beware of who you sacrifice on the way up the ladder, as one day you might be on your way down and you don't want to meet those you've thread on, when falling down. Why do you think they say that we should treat others like we'd liked to be treated ourselves? As that is Karma in real life.

One thing that the liars also like to do is to make worse and worse lies, the more they notice that others just believe whatever shit they put out there. It's cause they deep down want to be revealed. They really want us to see their lies and not believe them. You might think they don't, but that's the truth that they want to be stopped and they want that people will see what horrible liars they really are. That's the reason they con us so much, as they hope that the worse they con and lies we surely must react, but somehow most people still don't. Whenever they manage to con and be believed by all their enablers, they both feel a high due to their great ability to fool people, but deep down they feel sick. That's the reason they will target their enablers too later on and sacrifice each and everyone that's been in their corner. They will not help those that loyally supported them, as at one point they will punish them severely. Most people don't matter to them, so they don't care that they are punished and they even feel deep contempt for anyone helping them out, either fully knowing they are helping liars or just willfully being ignorant. That is the reason behind the contempt the true perpetrators always feel for their enablers.

The reason I know this is cause this world is fractal, so all going on in the smaller perspectives, in private relationships, will be going on on a greater scale in how people are being used and fooled. So by studying personal relationships, school yard bullying, sibling rivalry and all sorts of connections with other humans, you will notice how the liars among us react to those willfully helping them out to torment their innocent targets. They don't admire those licking their butts. They feel deep contempt for them. The only way to treat a bully is to stand your ground and speak the truth. When you see someone being mistreated you stand by their side, so they are no more alone. This is the only way, as by joining the bully train you are judging yourself to be a target and you might not be as lucky as a truly innocent target will be. A guilty target will most likely get it much worse as the amount of shit that can be used against a guilty person is automatically so much more. It's hard to find shit to use on someone innocent, so the bully will rely solely on lies and framing. Which they of course if very good at. But then imagine how easy it is to ruin the life of a person they know shit about, and then frame them with ten times worse.

Now and then the perpetrators behind alot of this worlds horrors need to give the pretense there is some kind of justice in this world. They need that to make people more happy. So they will then make a huge scandal and it will be all over the news, where they hang out some famous person who they know alot of shit about. This is what happens on the bigger scale, but it will happen also in families and smaller groups. When this happen it's my opinion that the bully will also use this event to frame alot of their own doings onto their former enabler. Remember that many enablers truly believe themselves to be good people, and they don't understand that they have been enabling evil people in their lies and abuse of innocent others. They truly think that these poor souls deserved all the mistreatment, but the reason they believed this is cause they chose to not bother to find out the truth and only listen to the words of the bully. This is how it's done - to both feel good about yourself and at the same time hurt someone else. You only fool yourself by listening to tales told by liars. This is the reason why I'm both very angry at such enablers, while also pitying them as they truly want to have faith in what they believe in. But it's all lies. 

I think the deep down problem here is that too many people are not connected on a spiritual level with others, so they chose to trust seemingly "trustworthy" people to tell them what to think about others. If they'd instead been directly connected to the others true souls they'd known them and not been fooled by tales. Remember that it's unwise to listen to gossip and if you think about it almost everything today is just that - gossip. The seemingly most upstanding, clever and loved people I know personally, are the ones that work the hardest on their images, while telling bad things about others all the time. If you listen carefully on what they tell about people connected to them, you will soon hear how they slightly put down others, and rise up themselves. So their uprightness is just a trick, an illusion, where they step on others to make themselves out as the good guys. They will brag about the slightest little thing they've done, and drag with others to help them tell how fantastic they are. The very same people helping them, admiring them, will they then step on, behind their backs! So they will walk all over people close to them, to make themselves look better. 

Everyone will seemingly lift them up, talk well about them, while some of those close by them that is not ever bragging about themselves will be talked ill about by these braggers. So noone is talking good about these humble people. Not cause they are misbehaving, but cause they are humble about their own deeds and rather lift others up. You see now how the liars use humble people. They con them to brag about them to others, and then they stab them in the back by lying about them. They tell people that the humble person is a failure, lazy, selfish, greedy, or whatever ill tale they wish. Alot of the nice things they say about themselves are actually stories they've stolen from their humble friends! They will listen to your stories, look bored and then steel it. If you later on tell others the same tale you will find out you've stolen the story from the bragger! Yes, that's something very common that the liars steel their friends nice stories and make them theirs, and then nobody believe the person actually owning the story, when they happen to mention it. People believe the first thing they hear, and they believe the story belongs to the person first telling it.

Luna IngRuna - Circle of Love

Goddess Wolves

 

I have six sites under my Red Heart category and this one is the fifth, but it used to be the last until I recently changed the order of the sites and moved this one up. It's double level symbolism with the wolf theme, as it's both about real live wolves that live in nature, and the kind you find walking among men pretending to be human, while in reality being predators out to harm others. The reason I thought about that is due to bullies that's been tormenting me my whole life, as I'm a sensitive and also a loner. Predators love to attack people they believe are easy targets, vulnerable and an easy kill, so they love to attack me and have been doing that my whole life. I can't even remember how many times really nasty females been lying about me to ruin my social life, but every time it happened it came out of the blue, like an attack by a predator, without me having a clue what was going on behind my back. Much fewer times the attacker been a male, one of the kinds that are out for revenge of some kind. You find this site here: Goddess Wolves. So the reason I made this site about wolves was cause of the stalking and lies that a man was doing to me.

I don't really know why males attack me, but I have by now figured out the reason females do what they do so very often. To me it seems like the males are furious that I stand up for myself and don't play along with their using of me as their tool or whatever they intended. At the moment it's people who know all about old bullying I've been through and they seem to be using these old methods to screw with me. It's like they've been pretending my whole life they were family, but all they did was to find out all my weaknesses so they could seriously fuck me over with every thing that others done to me previously. So now a brother of mine behaves like the man who inspired me to make this site. That is stalking my sites and reading my private thoughts. He was the only one who could explain why that man was so cruel and now he's equally cruel, if not even worse, I may say. I truly feel he's worse, as the other man stopped stalking me after about half a year, and this torment has soon been going on two years. And this time it's been escalating as time goes by instead of receding.

There has been a constant stream of lies and hurtful messages that are very insulting and the further we come in trying to find a solution that would be as beneficial for all as possible, the more vile and nasty he's been acting. And all his hate is directed at me, despite me being the person least listened to by the lawyer doing the actual work. The lawyer have heard so much foul things about me, that I bet he thought I was a two headed monster by the time he met me, so of course anything I said to him went straight through his head. He refused to see me until October, 6 months after he'd met my sister and he didn't even talk to me until 2 months after he'd had a long proper meeting with my sister. So why did this brother think I had any power over the lawyer? He was totally smithen by my sister and thought I deserved much less then this wonderful woman, and so he told me. Did I write her any hate mails due to that? Of course I didn't as I'm not a sick bastard like some people obviously are. I was deeply insulted by the lawyer, who straight out told me and the oldest brother that we were less connected to our father then our spoiled siblings. Which was extremely rude and an awful thing to say to someone.

So to me it's very clear that our brother is upset as I feel like both me and his older brother are equals to him and our other sister. The way he treats us and their plans to make us get alot less money then them shows us clearly how he feels about our value. He's been using us and in his mind we have no rights at all. That is the only reason I can come up with that he's so hateful towards me, as I've not been in contact with him in any way, beside dealings with the lawyer. The insult is that we let him get his way in alot of matters, but that didn't help at all. He does not appreciate anything we do and his only goal seems to be to humiliate as much as possible. I have a feeling he will try and bully everyone supporting me, trying to isolate me so he can torment me undisturbed. Men like this can be quite lethal and there are women who's very scared of him. Would he try anything on me however I will be prepared and I would not let him harm me in any way, nore my children. I truly believe he's a very sick person, as I've done nothing to him and it's like he's making shit up just to be able to hate me. Either that or someone is filling his head with hate and lies and he is too brainwashed to be able to see what these defamers are doing.

This site is also about native people as they have been treated very badly by bullies, who made others hate them and almost kill all of them in horrible, cruel ways. When I was small I was always on the side of the native americans, and this brother was always one of the white cowboys. That says alot, as the white's murdered 95% of the natives. I married a native nordic boy, who shares the same DNA as the native americans, so I called him my own indian boy. I feel great solidarity to all native people of this earth and the things I've heard from people of native blood is hair rising. How horrible and cruel people can be who think they are more then others. In reality it's those bullies that are less then others and they should feel ashamed over how cruel they are to the undeserving. It's quite clear to all of us now that my bullies know perfectly well, all of them, that I've been telling the truth all this time. They've been taunting me with more lies about me, just to torment me, while all of them fully well knew I spoke the truth. That was why nothing I did could make them understand I was truthful, not even that I had a witness confirming my version of events.

The one who started to lie about me seems to have been planning this a very long time, as she spoke to me about it more then 20 years ago, how someone was to fight her over her right to get a house for nothing. Now I know she must had planned this person to be me, as she was doing all sorts of hurtful things, starting from when I started dating boys. She gave away a huge collection of doll dresses I've worked on for 9 years, most likely cause I told her she only could borrow it, as it was intended to my own daughter one day. Seven years later she changes her first name to a name I'd had suggested to give to my own daughter, but I had a miscarriage and lost that baby. When my daughter was born she shortly after had made father "give her a house" out of the blue. Or so she claimed. But after father's death she revealed that this was not quite what had happened, and I got an explaination to all the weird statements father had made through the years. He'd said stuff like that house was not hers until he died, which was what their agreement was, that she'd have to pay for the house what it was worth after father had died. It was no gift, like she had lied about for so long. She was not to have a house and the rest of us would not.

So to make sure that noone would be able to go against her claim to get the house she'd tried to make father sign a will back in 1996, which he'd refused to do. That will was made in three copies and all was found recently in fathers house. The will said not she'd get if for free, like her mother has claimed for 20 years, but it was suggested 110 K, and father had by hand changed the price to 210 K. This is all things that has been revealed during these years that's gone by since I read the agreement myself and saw that it was no will and that it said no fixed amount which the house would be valued at. It said what I've said it said all the time, and they all know that I'm telling the truth, but like the bullies they are they love to torment me. She showed it to me as she knew mother and the rest would help her harass me and show no mercy as she needed a scapegoat to take the fall for being all she is - that is greedy, false, calculating, a thief and of course a cruel liar. She knew her husband would do anything she said to him to do towards me and he was very helpful. He phoned my husband and called me cheap, for not wanting to pay 40 K for something worth less then 10 K. I only could agree to pay 25 K, which was the amount they'd told me it was worth when I was talked into taking over it.

At the same time his own wife is going on and on about peanuts and when I am willing to give her 46 K more for her share, then it's worth, she's bitching about 1,7 K for something she bought without my consent to the farm. In my opinion she can take that shit and stuff it where the sun does not shine, as I don't care for her bickering about small amounts. So according to her bully of a husband I'm cheap when I refuse to OVER PAY 30 K for something, and only over pay 15 K, while his bitch is not cheap when she bitches about ten times smaller sums. She also misunderstood our offer and now she's bitching over 4 K, when the offer was 46 K more, not 50 K more, which she seems to believe. All cause our lawyer forgot ONE WORD in his text - "about". He wrote that we were willing to pay them 850 K including alot of stuff on the farm, instead of the 804 K that the estate agent had suggested. And then he said that the stuff most likely was not worth those extra 200 K, but forgot to write those extra about 200 K. He should had written 184 K or something more accurate, but he didn't and unintelligent as my sister is she did not understand.

She's almost as dumb as her enabling brother actually, who does not understand anything of our offer and instead he tries to underbid us with 200 K, while offering his darling sister more then 200 K more for her part. And he also believes that me and the oldest brother will not get any part in the value of those 184 K the stuff could be worth. Taking up our suggestion that they'd evaluate the stuff, like I've told the lawyer already in June he should do when I sent him all the photos of it, that does not enter any of these people's minds. Neither the lawyer or these two other liars seems to be able to understand that it would be a good idea. Most likely they will cause us alot of trouble to save fathers life work, and I guess that is the reason their mother is putting down so much effort in enraging her gullible son, so she can make sure to ruin this for us. I totally blame her as she acted like the main enabler of this insane idea our sister and brother had to fool us to force us to give them these houses. If they'd been kind and honest everything has been settled by now, but instead they favored lies and deception and harassing me on the brink of destruction. 

The original turmoil started with the lies that I had never been shown her agreement, and when I refused to shut up, but instead found a witness who could confirm that was true, the truly hurtful insults began. She knew very well what would cause maximum damage to me, as she knows exactly how I feel about things, as I told her everything when I believed she was my friend. It's all too obvious after all the investigations I've made these years that these kind of persons truly watch you and befriend you to find out who you are to be able to harm you the most they can, if you go against them in any way. They even make traps you can't avoid to fall into, just to be able to torment you for fun. So I've realized now that she was never my friend, but an enemy pretending to be a friend. She was only pretending so she could gather intel about me to be able to destroy me. At her side she had her mother, who used to call me and I used to tell alot of things to. I do remember her warning me on occasions, telling me that one should not be too open and honest about things. I thought that was dumb advice as you should trust your friends. It's just that none of these people were ever my friends, but my "frenemies" out to destroy me.

They have been re-manifesting all the things I've told them about others done to me, which hurt me very much. Even my brother-in-law who pretended to be so upset over the man I mentioned above, and how he pretended to be a good friend to my husband while doing what he did. He only pretended as he said to me that it was wrong to do such a thing to a friend's wife, so why is it okey for him to do similar things to a friend's wife, or to your wife's sister? Double standards again, as he only gathered intel about me and realized with my story about the man where my weak spot lay. That I felt very uncomfortable with such events and did not handle them well, but suffered for years, so he created a similar situation with my sister, where she began already in 2005 accusing me of flirting with him, while I'd done no such thing. Just like the sick man I'd told him about. Now I've read about this kind of predators, and how they cheat on their wives, and how they play with women's feelings, messing with their heads. It's in their nature, I'd say, as I've read about them. It's like a mental illness, only it's not an illness, but more like a handicap. They are unable to care for others well being, and it's all about their own thrills.

It's energetically exactly the same thing and that's why it's so nasty, as both he and my brother knew how upset I was over how this man behaved. The brother I'm sure is taking his cues from his mother and that sister, and as I've been confiding in them for years about all sorts of things that hurt me I'm sure they know how to mess with his head so he'll attack me where it hurts the most. I know it was my sister who first spread out to people that I was mental, and then she spread out that I was bullying her and defaming her, and then that I had a smear campaign going about her. Or a hate campaign, as she likes to call it. I also have had feed back from her brother that I'm stalking her, so I guess she's made up that one too. She's very resourceful, like her mother, making up stories about others to defame them and make others think they are crazy, while it's all a story. What she does is actually what is illegal as she is lying about a person to people knowing that person. And when she does that and others help her out to spread untruthful smear about someone, myself for instance, that is also illegal. You cannot be considered having a hate campaign anonymously, like they all are making out you can. I've made tons of jokes about that issue, and I imagine that it will result in a blog soon, which I will name "Smear Anonymously" or something.

This site is really about the pain of being a victim of abuse by people you only wished to love and care for, but they would not let you do that. Instead they turned on you, defiled your good name and reputation. I cannot describe how many times ugly, jealous girls and women done that to me in this lifetime so far. I'm so happy I'm getting older and not as slender anymore, as it finally seems like alot of this envy is going away, which been projected at me ever since I can remember. I was bullied at school for years, all due to girls who lied about me and said I'd done things I've never done. Evil, envious girls who just wanted to torment me. A few of them even pretended to be my friends, and just like my sister and her real mother did, collect intel so they could use that against me and hurt me as much as they could. Their favorite method is always the same. They make out outrageous claims about stuff I'm supposed to have done, and then they go and tell others about it. Oftentimes they turn all the boys and men against me, by saying so horrible things about me that everyone starts to hate me. I still remember the deep pain in my heart all those years this took place at school.

There was this girl I thought was my friend, as I used to play with her, and she used her twin brother to physically attack me, by telling him that I'd done things that she in reality had done to him. She knew all his secrets so she told on him to the teacher, and then she framed me for doing it. Her brother was furious on me and ran as fast he could straight against me and punched his fist in my belly. God, that hurt. I'll never forget that pain and it was physical. He never said why he did it, but I'm sure it was cause of her lies. Girls are horribly cruel and nasty beings and I never liked them at all. I so wish I'd had a baby brother instead, which was what I'd wished for, as all girls were so odd and untrustworthy. If it hadn't been for his twin sister he'd never hated me, never punched my belly and neither would all his friends. They all hated me for all the things this little bitch claimed I've done. I'm sure every little dirty story she told about me was all about herself and her own doings, as they sure as hell had nothing to do with me. People are so gullible and if they cannot repent, when they see that they were wrong, they are doomed.

Those tormenting me now in my family all know that I was lied about and that I indeed read the agreement, just like I said. They know that I didn't make all those piles of paper after father died, which is all new lies my sister came up with as time went by. Just like my tormentor at school did. But she does it as she and her mother knows that I was severely bullied at my last working place and so bad that I got PTSD like symptoms for quite awhile. Like severe stress just being close to a church, thinking about priests and churches. I've talked alot about the bullying going on in that church with mother and it was alot. At the very end a new narcissistic female priest arrived and she heard my stories, as I thought she was my new friend and I told her stuff. She was very kind for awhile, but then it turned out that she'd been saying the most horrible things about me. And there I'd been thinking that I was an ugly, dirty being noone could like for months, until a supervisor revealed that she was smearing me to the church board, whom handled my employment. So much that they all thought I lacked all formal education and alot of other provably wrong assumptions. 

This supervisor had tried to talk to them, but he said that she had them all under her spell, believing the most ridiculous things about me. I left and my self confidence were in shreds. Who'd do such a thing to a friend? To a colleague? To a sister? A daughter? I cannot even imagining treating my worst enemy so false and vile, with made up lies and stories. These are the lowest of the low of beings, like maggots with feet and arms. They smear and make up stories about women they feel envy against, and they are so good at it cause they are acting like saints without wings, like charming and kind caring women. They are so good at acting so perfect that only that ought to make you suspicious. As in the middle of all this perfection some slight slip up of vile hate will slip through. I've seen it plenty of times with women like this, but used to ignore it. Now my studies in this subject has taught me that this is a sign to not take lightly. This little toxic remark about a person who's done no wrong, is the hallmark of the narcissist or sociopath. However, they might try and patch it up and pretend at once that this person indeed done them foul things. Beware of unsubstantiated claims.

Now I've been telling you alot about bullying and the wolves disguised as humans, as that is a dear subject of mine. And I've mentioned my present bullies, however I try and keep them out of my life as much as I can. I hope to be able to keep them far away from me as possible for the rest of their lives, as they have all certainly done their best to take advantage of the fact I've been seriously abused before in similar situations. This time I've been more awake to what's been going on, and I've learned alot about this ailment of evil. Everytime I accounter it I learn more and by knowing more I get stronger. It has miraculously not hurt me as much as it would had done just a few years ago, what they've done to me. It's like all before this were preparing me for the ultimate betrayal. The hardest part has been to understand that people like this don't care about truth, or that you can prove you are innocent to the charges. All they care about is to harm you as much as they can, humiliate you and destroy your soul. That's why they use aggressive men to attack me, and none of them cares neither that I'm innocent.

I know that they all know that all I did  was to tell the truth, and neither of them care. To them it's just fun to torture me, as they are wolves out for a kill. That is how bullies are, they wish to harm their victim just for fun. I've added alot of nice gifts to this post and I will tell you which I made using my own ideas and which I made with the help of tutorials. The first two are totally designed by me, using some nice graphics. The third I've made the image myself using a vector tutorial, but the frame I designed myself. Well, I added some cute wolves too. The forth is yet another design by myself, and the fifth is a vector tutorial, which I've added a frame to I had made before from a tutorial. And a wolf of course. Six, seven, eight and nine were all done totally after tutorials, and so is the one below and the tag at the bottom. The puppy wolves I've added myself however. The funny thing is that the indian tent graphic was the reason I was bullied at a PSP-course I attended, as a jealous woman there used to frame other members so the teacher tossed them out.

Shortly before I made that graphic I was told by the leader I was her top pupil and then suddenly I was tossed out for doing the wrong  background colour on a four hour graphic. There were a little more to it then that, but that was how it all started. I received a mail from the other member complaining that I'd used the wrong colour in the background, an error fixed in less then five minutes, and I was then not allowed to change it. She took upon herself to write a mail to the leader and complaining about me, telling her that I was very unsatisfied with her and the course, and out I was on my head. All for doing the wrong colour and I did ask if I could not re-make it, but the other member ignored my request and instead made it out to the leader I was bitching and angry with her. That is what bullies do, make up stories to get competition out of the way, and all bullies are malignant. All malignant people are lacking in empathy and they are most often what's called narcissists. Malignant narcissists all lie. That is the hallmark of a malignant person that they lie. They are the people of the lie and they destroy lives to get ahead.

They are wolves and they like to hunt in packs. They are very vengeful and will never forgive and forget, which is only for their abused victims and tormented targets. They themselves expects total loyalty from everyone else, but their fellow narcissists and certainly never from themselves in return to their underlings. As a caring, loving, loyal human being you will soon realize that nothing you've done for these selfish bastards has any value after the deed was done. They will not consider all you've done for them as something they ought to pay back to you, in deeds or value. To them it was an honor for you to serve them and you should be the one grateful they let you help them out, as that surely taught you something and was a blessing for you in some way. Just by being involved with them must surely been payment enough? I tell you, this kind of wolves consider any generous act you do to them, out of sheer goodness of your heart, as a gift given to you by them. That is the truth I've found out and that explains alot of all my questions through life with this family. No wonder they are so ungrateful - nothing given to them was a gift to them, but it was their gift to the others, letting them give.

Luna IngRuna - Circle of Love

Goddess Circle

This is a blog about my forth website of my so called red sites. I mentioned in my previous blogs about my sites that I've had some very negative comments on some of them and this one is definitely one of the most hated. The comments are still in the guestbook, which doesn't work anymore so don't try to sign it. It's not been many comments, but this site seemed to be mostly hated by feminists who think women should be ashamed over themselves and not be shown in art as the nature made them, but covered up and using no make up or in any other way trying to look good. I don't know about women feeling that way about other women, but I find it extremely offensive and judgmental. And I'm not very much for looking that luring myself, so I don't even take those comments personal, but I find it offensive towards those women who want to look good and do look good. I feel it's wonderful that some women are that beautiful and are not ashamed to show it. I feel that those women who feel a need to put other women down for being what they like are very sad human beings, and not very much happy with themselves, most likely. So this is my very much magical site - Goddess Circle. It's a site about witches and the natural power all witches possess. It's not men that's been the greatest enemies to the witches, but other women hating them for the abilities they have within.

Women who hate other women and try to devalue them and put them down with sinister lies and smear is something of the worst betrayal and what I've seen my whole life again and again. The absolute worst with these women is their cunning ability to frame their target, the victim of their hate campaign, for their own doings. And they don't only target women they meet casually, but they target their own kin, even their daughters and their sisters. The envy they feel for any woman with greater gifts are endless. These women are clearly pathological and if you never been targeted by one you most likely are totally unaware of what ends they'll go to only to ruin the other person's life and character. They might do it to gain more popularity or even wealth, but the deep rooted reason is this envy. I doubt these envious women are the prettiest or the most attractive, but the contrary. They are often well dressed, however, almost too well dressed. They'll put endless effort into looking smart and representative, while actually being deeply envious of the more natural beauties, who flaunt their beauty right and left with ease, while getting the attention from the most handsome of the men.

If you know what I mean, you know the look they'll give you cause that hunk you two just passed ignored them and said "hi" to you only. It is greener then green, I tell you. If that had happened the other way around, you'd not even noticed, as to you it would be great if guys fancied her. But to her it's a personal insult, a hurt you owe her for the rest of your life. A grudge to carry and a vengeance to be had. These kind of women can hold grudges for decades until they totally have built up to the final strike and when they do, they are out for your total destruction. But meanwhile they will have smeared you to anyone close to them, and many you know. You used to be a happy person with loads of friends, but then you find out that people give you snide remarks and put downs, which erodes away on your self esteem. If you have more then one of these women in your life you will perhaps have several of them working together in painting you in a slightly twisted way, getting most of your surrounding behave disrespectful towards you. The small things needed to make this happen is amazing. Small hints and playing the victim card, when nothing could be further from the truth, is tricks women like this like to use to put down their target. They might ask you to help them talk to others, while it's all a set up to make the other one buy something she's been claiming about you.

All this so far is just general descriptions and of course could I bring up some examples from real life, but I will instead focus on the endgame the closest women in my life played on me. My whole life I was in the most subtle, covert ways put down by my own mother and I therefore never felt accepted or loved by her. I know that this is the same feeling all of my siblings also had about her, even her two favorite children have both confessed to me that this is how they saw our mother - loveless. In my young little mind I always felt it was cause she didn't love herself in a healthy way, and that she was very immature as a person. I used to comfort her as a toddler, she'd told me, while she selfishly fended for her own needs, leaving me to fend for myself or with some teen to do so. I don't know why she was that way, but my guess is that her mother was not very loving, but more like an attention seeking narcissist, while her father had severe post traumatic stress for years during the war, as he'd already lost all his friends in the last war and it was a very traumatic time for him to have to go through. That stress made him violent and they had to send away the oldest girl when she was only eleven and four years later my mother had to go away to the same place, when only thirteen.

So I've figured out that she grew up in a family with loads of drama and very little safety. Knowing my grandma I can imagine she was always the center of attention and often very annoyed with all her children's needs. Children have needs and narcissists normally find that very annoying. How my mother behaves fits perfectly something called covert narcissism, and narcissists often turn their own children into narcissists of some kind. There are several different kinds of narcissism, but in reality not one is the other exactly like, though they tend to use the same tricks to get ahead. Narcissists normally treats their children very differently, dividing them into good and bad ones. They often like the children resembling themselves the best and put down those looking more like their spouses. Mother is no exception from that habit and maybe her mother acted in the same way. The older son and older daughter looked like her husband, so we both were bad, while the younger son and daughter looked like mother or her kind, so she idolized them. However they have both complained to me she treated them very badly, which was very weird for me to hear, but so they've both claimed at different occasions. Actually, they both use those claims to delegitimize any memory of mistreatment I have brought up, present or past. Whatever case brought up, it's said it was bad for all of us and we all need to move on and leave the past in the past.

That is words that sounds great on a shallow surface, but if you investigate them you realize it's only them, and none others, that are allowed to wallow in the past. Whenever a bad offspring brings anything up, it's shut off immediately and belittled as of non importance. Well, it's for them of course, as many times they took part on the bad side of the memory as the little helpers of mothers taunting or unfair punishment. But it goes far beyond that, as behind all this there are so much framing and guilt shifting and smear going on that I have not even begun to scratch the surface on. Like I said, women like my mother will choose to help their look-a-likes out, while putting down and even sabotage the lives of the children looking like their husbands. It might be done a lot and often, or it might be ever so slightly and only occasionally. My mother had a double nature, so she could be a demon or an angel, but most times she was just not there. I don't really like to talk about my mother as I brooded enough about her as a child and teen, and I honestly am not that interested in her anymore.

At the end, before I went no contact, I had gotten seriously tired of her mean ways and non caring attitude. The last call she sounded so thrilled and in such a wonderful mood, it would had been great unless it was for the reason of the call. When thinking about the issue, her jolliness becomes crazy and sick. She should not have sounded as pleased and excited, if she'd really cared, but she did. The longer the time I am no contact the more realizations like this I get. She actually sounded very happy, but the issue we were talking about was my son, who'd been severely injured with a broken bone in his face and nobody knew how bad it was really. She did sound very interested, which I then interpreted that she might actually care, but she also sounded very pleased with herself, like she was in a good place, and I don't think I would feel that way if my grandson had been injured like that. I would sound wobbly and distraught. She's a very different kind of person from me indeed and the greatest mistake I've done in my life was to believe she was anything like me. She's much more like my younger sister, her look-a-like. They are not only looking alike on the surface, but they are just the same on a moral level. They are different in their temperament, which is why stupid people believe I am like my mother, but that is only the temper, not our real personalities.

Temperament is another shallow attribute, like eye colour or length. People tend to think that the tall children look like our father and the two shorter children like mother, but that is only an illusion, just like the temperaments. We have photos showing that we look more like father then the other two, still I have never heard anyone but mother seeing this and always remarking on it in a very negative way. She clearly feel deep contempt for us for looking like her ex-husband. So of course she hooked up with those being like her both on the outside and the inside, and mother do know this, while others might miss it. She let everyone believe that they were taking after their father, as everyone loved father. Alot of people don't like mother at all, as she can be such a weird crazy bitch. But somehow she manages to frame two of her children for all her darlings mistakes, which they made cause they are like her - weird crazy, that is. And just like she always had a grudge towards me for being born, and then being such a pretty little thing, and fathers little doll, she punished me through different methods. It's typical narcissism to be jealous of your own child, you see. One punishment was to have father spank me on my bare butt now and then, when I was a little girl, and for reasons unknown to me. My guess is she lied to him to make him do it. My guess is she's lied about me my whole life.

Another one who's been lying about me for ages is my younger sister, who I had to take care of from she was newborn till she was in her teens. She was mother's little clone ever after I moved away from home. Actually mother also moved away shortly afterwards, and was only home during the weekends. I have no idea why she hates me so much, but I can guess. Envy. While I got really upset if anyone treated my sister badly, she started to join in bullying me from she was in her early teens. That was one of many eye opener to me at that time, that she was not wired like me when coming to loyalty and love. There had been a few through her upbringing, making me very sad and worried about her. She did not seem to feel like I did at all. She was so blank like nobody was home and the only real emotion I saw was in her teens when she showed envy. Now I know she also felt alot of rage, which she never told me about as a child. I don't know why she felt that way or why she wouldn't talk to me about it, but she seemed to be angry at me, not her mother who more or less let me take responsibility for her child. My guess is that my sister actually thinks it was my duty to take care of her, while being a child myself, which it was not. I did a good job playing with her and her friends, but it was not a duty I was obliged to do. It was done out of love, and she should be grateful and happy for all that time and love I gave her, instead of resenting me for not being a perfect "mother".

I'm telling all this as lately my mother and my sister have showed their true intention to me and my children in a very clear manor. Of course they both claim I am doing what they are doing, treating them like they are treating me. That is what narcissists do - project their own vile actions and intentions unto some innocent target they have been tormenting and smearing for years. It's a fact they have been lying about me to others as I have caught them in enough lies through the years. I've told a few on my blogs already many times, and I'm sure I've forgotten so many more little lies by them. Most times you don't have any proof the person lying is knowing they are lying, and you might think they only got their memories mixed up, but some times it's in your face they know they are framing you for their own nasty stuff, and those are the times you will remember, as it hurt so bad. I do hope none of these people find this blog, as if they read that it hurt, they'd most likely will find the greatest joy in knowing that. Cause like I said, women like this hold on to their envy and deep grudges for a very long time, if not for life, and they will only seem like they have gotten over things, while they have not. They might look happy, cause they think their target is in pain and that brings them joy, but deep down they are sticking to their plans, as long as it takes, to once and for all destroy their target. 

I've been telling the story of what happened many times now. That is, the story how they made a pact to make my sister get a house from fathers estate, contradicting the agreement she had with him. Mother had also snared her favorite son in this scheme, and helped him to make father build a house to him too. Not as fancy and not on such a beautiful spot as our sister's, but atleast something to bribe him with so he'd stay loyal behind his baby sister's scheme. I don't know all the ins and outs of all of this, but I know that my brother has much on his conscience, where he's been helped to avoid blame for his own actions, by having his brother or me framed instead, so alot of family and friends think badly about us, while we are innocent. That is the kind of burden our brother has to carry, if he has a conscience. Otherwise I guess it's easy for him, knowing the pain he must cause us by letting mother and others help him frame those who are innocent for his own doings. So he's corrupt since early childhood and to tell you the truth, neither me or his older brother would like to be in his shoes. We rather have a clean conscience, then a clean reputation. These women and their men might have tarnished our character and good names, but they have not touched our pure spirits and honest souls. That power they have not.

After one and a half year of knowing about their scam and how they intended to fuck us up both me and my brother felt that we truly wanted to give our brother the chance to understand he'd been conned by wicked women and were fooling himself doing really dumb things. I mean, both me and the oldest had no intention of not giving him his little house, as we honestly thought he'd paid for the material father built his house with. We thought it was the right thing to do, until our brother disrespected us and tried to shame us using tricks and lies. I know he understood that our sister had shown me her deal with father, shortly after his death. I know he totally understood that I was telling the truth and that the oldest brother had seen this happening, but still he pretended that he didn't know. He even wrote a mail to his brother asking him to stop me from talking about the deal I had read, so he knew. But to me he pretended that he didn't believe me, and that he thought I was a liar. He just ignored his brother's observations and was very rude to both of us. So we decided he had forfeited all our good will and we got legal help with settling fathers estate, as there was no way of speaking to people holding on to lies like that. Our sister was totally busted in the scam she had tried to pull on me, using me as a scapegoat everyone was supposed to hate and ignore, as our brother saw the framing, when it happened.

We totally broke off all contact with our family of origin for a very long time, and during that time the lies our brother wrote to the court was just as insane as those he and mother wrote to my husband. It was like they actually believed their own lies, like they had lied to much they fooled themselves. That's why we went no contact as these people only accept one reality - their own creation. It has nothing to do with what really happened, and all to do with them looking good, and we bad. I have received a few feedbacks where our siblings are totally ripping us apart on Facebook and mother were smearing us to alot of relatives. But since we kept away we have no idea how bad it is, or how much people actually buy of their lies. My guess is people buy alot, as I know they have been smearing me my whole life, and I definitely know they have smeared my oldest brother and his family too so much it's insane. I know that as I've heard the smear and it's so cunning and devious that alot of naive people will believe it. It will make the listener feel sick, but it will also make them direct this sick feeling towards us, who's the target and not the culprit of the smear. After all this time my oldest brother tried to contact our closest sibling in July, trying to make him "wake up" from the lull he's in. He's very exploitive, focused on his needs, very childish, selfish, but we've always loved him to pieces and helped him alot. It takes time to truly be emotionally able to see how deep he has sunk into the narcissistic hole he's dug for himself.

We just can't believe he does not know by now that we are telling the truth and our "sociopathic" acting sister is lying. She's the socially accepted liar, who fools everyone to trust her. She's so nice and caring and wonderful. Yeah, right. Then her total personality changes and out come Mr Hyde. She's scared me since she was four and I still feel traumatized with the whole kitty incident. I've seen comments that it's "normal" for children to kill little kitties. No, it's not. That is one item on the list for psychopathy. Yesterday my oldest brother phoned. One thing he told me was that our mother rang and told him my godmother, our fathers older sister, has changed her will. My brother felt like she was trying to get a reaction from him so he gave her none and she was not allowed to elaborate on that. A year ago I made a "prediction" about my sister and her husband that now when father is dead they will move on to his sister, who has no family of her own, and try and  make her delete some from her will and add more to them, if not all. They are very charming and know how to act like "angels" to elderly people. Showering them with attention, while smearing everyone who really actually cares for the person. Text book stuff. Unfortunately my brother would not ask mother to elaborate as I truly want to know if my prediction was true. I love to get affirmation whenever I get it right, you see.

He also mentioned that his wife had found new smearing of us on Facebook by our brother. Same stuff our siblings where lying about this summer, where they both claimed I was smearing them. You know, the normal projection stuff. So all this just clicks into place "what" kind of people they just must be. What both me and my oldest brother so long have tried to ignore and hope not to be true. They surely KNOW I have not smeared them, lied about them, to anyone in our family or on internet. So all is projections of what they are doing. They are telling us what they do, that is all. Every lie they are telling others about US, is what they do. I so wish people would get back to me and tell me what they've heard, as then I know MORE what they do. You know - turn it around and see the truth. I'm getting to that point now that I really rather look straight into the eye of the monster and face what shit they are. Their true selves. And you can only do that by facing what they are doing behind your back. Before all that has been way too much painful. My brother said that too, that this is too painful. Both him and I try to focus on other things, and we've done that all our lives, rather then really look closely what these people are doing who are supposed to be our loving family. I think we need to face the music. Look at reality, and stop avoiding the issue. We had not stayed in their life so long if we'd done this before.

We've been kind of avoidant, being on low contact, but that they have totally turned against us. We've been smeared due to not being able to stand the pain. It's like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. My brother is still in touch with mother, but I am totally sure that the only way to lessen the pain is to get away from her. She's harmed him so much so why does he believe he's obliged to talk to her? She's only using him to get to me, and I'm sure she thought we'd get upset over the will thing, but we both understood last year our sister was after our aunts left overs. We had read up on narcissists and that's what they do. It's in their nature! I write all this as it's wonderful to share with others and I LOVE reading others experiences, though alot of it is very painful to read. In my case I embraced physical pain before the mental pain as a child. I had a nanny that used to slap me in the face and I loved her for it. She had EMOTIONS and reacted to things I've done and said for real. I take that any day before being mentally punished for things totally out of my control. The "none care", being invisible and then suddenly the object of ridicule and hurtful comments, blamed for things I've not done and punished for unknown reasons. I know now all that is "gaslighting" stuff, and it drives you crazy, you live in constant "angst". It's mostly invisible, not something you can brag about, and to most outsiders all is perfect. Only your own close friends know.

It's easy to learn to ignore the feeling, as you learn that it's all in your head. But then something wrong happens, and you get so upset, get panic attacks or huge anxiety, but there is nowhere to run. It doesn't matter that you move away as long as you let that craziness into your life again. Whatever happened hadn't afterwards happen in their crazy land. You know it did - you SAW it happen, but YOU are the crazy one for remembering what really occurred, and how it occurred. They re-write history, and it's eroding your very self. So I totally believe you need to run away and never look back on such lunybins. It's like any bullying and mind fucking, with people who have no care for your true well being, who only care for their OWN self image. You must give them the middle finger and never look back. You are NOT their trash bin. I think that is vital as otherwise they'll corrupt your mind again and again, until nothing is left of YOU. Get away and take time to find yourself and treasure who you are. I like those words and they feel very true to me. Listen to what makes you feel more energy, more joy, as I'm sure we already know what we ought to do, but we've been taught to not listen to ourselves. I read a few therapists who get it too and tell that. It's positive, but not a tyranny or naive. It's very helpful and makes me all fuzzy and warm inside.

It helps me see that I do count, that I do have the right to be left alone and only stay with people who show me care, that I don't have to force myself to do things that fill me with panic. When in peace I can start to DARE to look the monster in the eye, see what they really are doing. Before, I hide under the bed, too scared to look. But now I am not scared of my mother, like I was as a small child. I'm not scared of her, but very disappointed as she refused to become a feeling human being in this life. She hold on to material values and devalued the most precious spirits she came in contact with. She had everything turned upside down in her head, and she failed me and lied to me to make me do things I didn't want to do. But I don't fear her, I pity her, since she's a pathetic and weak soul. I do however fear my two evil siblings, as they are so ruthless and hateful. I know they have lied about me so much, and for no other reason then to cause me pain and suffering. My brother has lied about me most perhaps, as I believe he has not done such a thing. I think my belief is wrong, and that he's been the most vile liar about me longer then I want to know. I truly think now that he hates my guts, despite of all my silly "belief" that he truly loves me back. I know I must be wrong in my emotional believes, as you should judge a person by their actions.

Now have I come to the end and my rant about envy and wicked people, mostly wicked women. Such people that used to burn us witches in old days, and who still try to ruin our lives today. And the one that I have to understand is the most wicked of all of these people, and who I least want to ever see again, is my sister. She has not only said vile things about me, smeared me and my children, but she's been trying most of her life to hurt me while I was doing the opposite for her. She was not my responsibility and she should love me and care for me, if she was a normal person, instead of planing nasty schemes to make me look bad, like a liar and a thief, to make everyone hate me. She's the one claiming to everyone I am running a hate campaign against her, while she's the one starting one huge one these last years. But she's lied about me long before that, and I've heard her lie to her husband about me, with no care that I heard her lies. She's so fresh and cheeky telling a lie straight infront of me to him. I bet she's been spinning all sorts of lies since 2005, when she got all green of envy cause he seemed to like to talk to me. Always the envy behind all these wicked women's revenges, remember that. Women who can't stand the true, honest, beautiful women who stand in love and care for their fellow human beings, in natural magic. 

The gifts I have shown you in this blog are some from tutorials and some are made by myself with nice graphics. It's easier to tell which ones are totally done after a tutorial, then which one I made myself as some are using frames by others or are done a little differently from the original tutorial. But the last five are totally done after tutorials, while the top ones are not. The second and sixth are variations of a tutorial, the third uses a frame from a tutorial, and the rest are more of less my creations. If you go to the page you will find information on tarot cards, runes, the moon and the wind and loads of stuff about witches and their ways. If you hate witches and think they are of the devil I should recommend you to look into the mirror to see the evil one. One should never hate someone for what one believes about them, but for what they truly are putting out in the word by their actions. So what is the reason to hate someone for knowing? Cause that is what a witch is, someone who knows. How she acts upon her knowing might be another thing, so you can not judge her cause she is, but what she does. Or you are the evil one who put judgement upon the innocent. Just like the liars and thieves do. Those who like to project their own ill will upon others. I only will send it back to them, three fold in strength with a thank you card, but no thanks, evil witches of the southwest.

IngRuna - Love Circle