This post is about another blog that is very lovely to read for anyone like myself, who've suffered years of undiagnosed abuse from selfish, lying narcissists. We are quite many and we don't like it anymore. You can find teenagers revealing this in their families, and you can find 70 year olds that just realized this and finally broke free from life long relationships. It does not really matter what the age, people are waking up to these liars in hordes right now and they don't accept their behavior anymore. I'd call this waking up to the malignant people around us is the great awakening, as this is the same kind of people lying to us on all levels. Once we see them in our homes and families, we'll see them EVERYWHERE they are and we will not trust in them again. I will comment some more after this blog post:
You Scream – Narcissist Accuses You of Losing Control
Narcissistic personalities are master manipulators and control artists. Observing them from a detached angle is like viewing a master painter make fine, perfect brush strokes across his canvass. The application is flawless and effortless.
They hit you over and over again until you can't hold it in any more and start screaming at them. You hear your voice reaching shrills and are shocked by its volume. When everything is quiet they stare at you coldly and say: "You have no self control. What the hell is the matter with you?" You shrink and feel so small that you want to disappear and never come back. On the heals of this attack they insinuate that you are "crazy" meaning that you have something very seriously wrong with your psyche and thinking processes. They convince you over time with these tactics that it is you who are severely disturbed. Spouses of narcissists and children of narcissists speak of the role that was given to them as the crazy, the mixed up one.
It is the narcissistic personality who is disturbed and bubbling with rage of Vesuvian proportions. When he/she accuses you of losing control, he is projecting these powerful feelings on to you. After all, in his eyes you are the inferior, the weaker one. According to his enormous ego, this individual has command of your life.
Once you have this understanding your perspective changes. An essential part of this awakening is becoming self entitled to be treated with respect, empathy and caring. A program of self care must begin with the first step. This is foreign to those who are married to narcissists and children of narcissistic parents. Self care means that you get the sleep that you need, eat nourishing food that you enjoy, exercise that works for you. Spend time calming the body/mind through any number of methods: guided meditation on You Tube, cd's, etc., practicing gentle hatha yoga with emphasis on breathing through the nose. Bring beauty into your life each day in the smallest forms that make a huge difference. Enjoy each moment when you are outside and observing nature--even tiny gnats, the tweets of hummingbirds, the winds in tall grasses, the dancing of tree limbs. Trust your evolving self that is growing and becoming self sufficient and more grounded each day. Healing from the narcissist is not a straight line. It occurs over a period of time that is different for each person. Be patient and loving with yourself. You deserve it.
by Linda Martinez-Lewi, PhD
All these tricks is to role you back in and get you under their influence again, if you've avoided them due to old times hurts. But these people don't like their toys to run away so they will try to role you back in again with their cheap tricks. The easier they think you are to con into loving and believing them again, the cheaper their tricks will be. They will make as little effort as possible, so you will see on the amount of effort they make, what they truly think you are worth. If you are important to them their charm will be really on, and they might do alot of tricks to con you back. But if you are a very forgiving and loving person, who don't demand much in return, you will see that they hardly make any effort atall to get you back, and still behave like you obviously appreciate the small things they seemingly do. Most such people do for others are nothing more then illusions anyways, and in many cases they let you pay and do everything, while making you believe it's their work and that nothing of it would had happened without them. Like them telling you to buy stuff, make stuff and then the mere suggestion from them you should do it, gives them all the credit for all your hard work and all money you put into it.
I don't really remember exactly when I realized that he only said and did what he did to torture me and that he really knew he was just bullshitting me, as he could seem so serious, like he really believed his own bullshit. He did the same with his brother and that was when I truly could hear how he did to torture this sibling. It's hard to really hear when you are yourself under attack, as you feel so insulted by the sick projections and false accusations he tossed at you, but when you are a bystander it got totally clear. I could hear what both said and that the seemingly serious brother was actually twisting the truth and turning everything backwards, to make the older brother upset. He managed to make his brother so raging that he jumped on his younger brother to beat him up. I remember many times I ran into them and screamed at my closest brother to stop teasing his brother and that he twisted everything around. I've told him this many times, but eventually I realized that no matter how many times I revealed his dirty intent of making others hurt and upset, he would never stop until he himself wanted to. And it's very clear that this person never will stop wanting to harm others.
When you see through their provocations, lies and nastiness and wont show them your upset, they will have no proof that their smear about your is true. That is the smear they've already been spreading far before they actually did their latest attack on you to make you get an reaction. Many times they do all sorts of little hints and traps to make you get upset over somethings. If there is a simple solution over something you wonder about, they will taunt you by refusing to come through and make you believe one thing, so they can later on, infront of others, show their proof. That's after they've conned you into thinking they had no proof, and never replying to your questions. That's so you will look stupid and a troublemaker when you refer back to their own words, that there is no real proof. This is a good trick as when you say the very words they've told you before, and they now sigh and role their eyes and pull out the "proof", which they refused to show or mention to you in private, you will look like a hopeless case that could not accept this obvious proof. Isn't that a gem? Well, this is the way such horrible people behave to make you suffer.
The more years you've been forgiving to them the less effort they will make to get you back and at the end you will notice that they don't do anything at all, but keep up trying to harm you. That is always the end result of these deceivers mistreatment of others. That's when they've realized that you wont play their hurt games anymore and wont reply in angry outburst on their twisted lies anymore. When they see how you walk away, after they refused to stop lying and making up shit, they will start a huge smear campaign about you and try to pull as many in on their illusions about you. If not all of them are in on getting rid of you a few of their mob might try with as little effort as possible to make you come back and accept their hurtful and mean behavior. If one of the bullies does this she or he will however never tell you anything that happened to you actually did, but she or he will ask you to get over something else. That is the gas-lighting to make you feel stupid for being angry. They do this to make you forget the real argument and feel so stupid you come back and as long as you are under their enchantment this trick might work, but as long as you are thinking for yourself it wont.
There is very screwed sociopaths that might acknowledge this last part, about how hurtful it was, but they will make it out like as you are all equally guilty, despite they were the only ones saying lies and hurtful comments, and despite you only stating the truth and defending yourself against their horrible lies. These kind of people are the most dangerous as they will make everyone in your surroundings think the quarrel was between two equal people, doing equal harm to each other. The truth is the opposite as that person had a horde of bullies on their side and all of these people might had been attacking an innocent, lonely person. This is how bullies behave, making the one they bully seem equally guilty. It's a very hurtful thing for the one being attacked as they had all the right to defend themselves and are then accused for standing up for themselves, truth and justice, while the liar sits there and pretends to be hurt. Isn't that twisted to watch, the obvious liar pretending to be hurt when the one lied about defends themselves? It's so very annoying indeed.
Luna IngRuna - Kärlekens Cirkel